Hello there! I'm new here, but looking for someone to say "you're not crazy...this is CPTSD". From the age of 15-18 I was in a very controlling and violent relationship that I somehow got the courage to end. Then from age 20-22 I was in an even WORSE relationship. This man was pure evil. He'd lock me in his apartment (I was in college a state away from home), wouldn't let me see my friends and half the time I couldn't go to class. He made me do things for him I can't even talk about and he also raped me numerous times.
Now, I got married and had a baby at 23 (different guy, totally nice but a drinker) and I just put all my focus on my son and making sure we had enough money. 2 years ago (age 29) I had an emotional breakdown and had to be hospitalized. This is when I told my parents, best friend, and ex husband exactly what happened to me and that's why I had that breakdown.
Anyway, I'm 32 now and I can't stop these obsessive thoughts about what he did to me. It's like I blocked it out for years, and now, Out of the blue, it's all flooding back! I'm remembering things and having major panic attacks, crying spells, and becoming more and more manic.
Why is this happening to me now?? I'm going to meet with a lady at the YWCA tomorrow to see about therapy and groups, but it's like my brain is trying to take me down. I can't stand this!
Now, I got married and had a baby at 23 (different guy, totally nice but a drinker) and I just put all my focus on my son and making sure we had enough money. 2 years ago (age 29) I had an emotional breakdown and had to be hospitalized. This is when I told my parents, best friend, and ex husband exactly what happened to me and that's why I had that breakdown.
Anyway, I'm 32 now and I can't stop these obsessive thoughts about what he did to me. It's like I blocked it out for years, and now, Out of the blue, it's all flooding back! I'm remembering things and having major panic attacks, crying spells, and becoming more and more manic.
Why is this happening to me now?? I'm going to meet with a lady at the YWCA tomorrow to see about therapy and groups, but it's like my brain is trying to take me down. I can't stand this!