JDog's Journal

[Jdog]

Thanks, Hope.  I had an MRI yesterday, so maybe the actual problem can now be determined.  It's called aging, I believe (no escaping that, sadly).  Thanks for the well wishes.

[Deep Blue]

I sometimes refer to myself as old in body and young in spirit 

[Jdog]

Oh, thank you much BeHea1thy.  My podiatrist reviewed the MRI and pain is being caused by a stress fracture at the end of the third toe.  I am to get another X-ray tomorrow and am unsure of treatment to follow.

Yes, Fail Better is a gem.   It's come to me from the incredible Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun.  It is a great reminder to be unafraid of life's bumps and to keep being grateful for opportunities to learn. 

Thanks for reminding me that I am generally an upbeat person.  Lately, I have felt more like a beat up person 

So many tests to grade, so much planning to do.  It's been a tiring week.  And, our school district, previously reported at being 24 million short of projections over three years is now a whopping 48 million in arrears.  Isn't that ducky.  I hope I can retire one of these days, but until things get stabilized it doesn't appear prudent ( suddenly I hear George H.W. Bush in my head, "wouldn't be prudent..."). 

[Deep Blue]

Jdog I literally laughed out loud when you said wouldn't be prudent! Ha ha

My friend has a stress fracture on her toe and I had one in my foot near my ankle.  I used a bone growth stimulator in my recovery and she did too.
Sending you love and support 

[Jdog]

Glad to have provided some levity, Deep Blue.  I am not light hearted at the moment, as I have to wear "the boot" for two weeks and get another X-ray following.  I just had a dust up with my wife as she came into the kitchen and I wasn't wearing it.  I also want to wash my car and told her I wouldn't have this on during that and she really got upset and said the car wasn't that important.  It's actually really dirty and embarrassing to me and I do want to wash it.  I don't know whether she will wash it for me but she's really mad and thinks I'm acting like a 5 year old.  Well, maybe I am.  I had to wear this boot for a month last spring and it really makes me feel disabled and ridiculous. 

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
Sorry about the disagreement with your wife.  Sometimes it helps me to feel better to organize and clean.  By physically doing it with my surroundings it sort of helps clear the clutter in my head.

Why do you think she was angry with you for not wearing the boot? Maybe because she cares about you?    just saying... probably some love behind that frustration 
Love ya Jdog

[Jdog]

Yes, she was angry because she cares about me.  In fact, she went yard sale shopping and came home with a scooter to support my booted up leg.  Very cool.  And yes, I am working on shifting my mindset.  Thanks for being such astute friends, both of you!

I spent the morning working on a budget for a grant we are writing for the school garden and looking over some student papers.  Felt better after. 

Thanks again, BH and DB.  You are wonderful.

[Jdog]

 

[Jdog]

Improbably, my wife and I attended a dance last night which we had been planning to attend prior to my booted existence.  Of course I didn't really dance but during a chain dance to the oldie "We are Family", I got out on the floor and rode my one legged scooter around the chain.  I also had people come and tell me about foot injuries that they had in the past.  Felt nice.

Metaphorically I can imagine that my injury comes from kicking and screaming over the Kavanaugh appointment. The injury to our democracy is much longer lasting than my broken toe is to my body and spirit.  Bullies are glorified, victims vilified.   Regardless of whether or not K assualted anyone, non-judicial conduct should disqualify a person from the highest court in America.  I guess our Senate just really likes beer.  Good news for brewers everywhere.

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
Interesting but sad symbolism. I wish I could say I was surprised by the outcome.  Even though I had prepared myself for the outcome... I still swallowed my heart when the news came through.

I can picture you in your scooter in the dance floor.  Hang in there and try to take it easy while your body heals.    thinking of you

[Jdog]

Thanks, Deep Blue.  I'm really fighting depression now.  I can't run, tinnitus makes meditation difficult, and my school district is facing deep debt.  My wife told me I'd better take it easy this time or the doctor would put me in a cast.  Ok, I thought I had been doing the right thing all summer, only gradually getting back to running.  Turns out the plantar fasciitis and associated heel spur is still an issue, per the MRI. 

Argh......

[Deep Blue]

My boyfriend had to have surgery on his heel spur and sleep in a boot for over a year!  One thing that he did that helped was get a paper cup, fill it with water and freeze it over night.  The next day he would rub it in his heal in circles.

I have tinitus too and hate it.  I wish I had a fix for it    hang in as best you can

[Three Roses]

Hey, I have tinnitus too. Hate it!

[Jdog]

So is tinnitus pretty conclusively a side effect of cptsd?  I have done a little research and it seems possible.  I didn't notice it until I took a series of meditation classes and someone else said they had it....and bam!  there it was in my head. 

[Three Roses]