Up and down in a day.

[Dutch Uncle]

Damn. How fast memories (EF's?) can change.

Doubt, again. Am I a Borderline? Changing so fast?
Nah, I did take the SCID-II, no?
Yes, I bloody well did.
Whatever it is, no BPD. Damn it.

What triggered this?
I just made a quite happy post on music in my the house I grew up in.
"If you like it," ("you'll get to play an instrument after three years of flute.")
"I must be a child prodigy", I joked in the end.

Well, I was one, possibly. Probably. But in the field of athletics. Gymnastics to be exact.
When I was 10 (or so) I got selected for the National Team. Well, he 'promises', obviously. 1 of 9. Selected out of a hundred? More even? Don't know. A lot, for sure. A whole sports-hall full of them.

"If you don't like it, you may stop at any time", my parents said. That's the memory that is with me, 40 years later, of the day the letter arrived at my home to tell me I was selected.

Gave up after a year or so.
Yes, the trainings were brutal.
But was I given the support, the confidence it was worth anything, the joy of even being there... By my parents?

No.
"If you don't like it"... 

[arpy1]

D/U, i hear you but i have to tell you having an EF does not suddenly change you into having BPD, honest!! it just means you have cptsd....

sucks about today's EF, nonetheless.  it's like your parents were constantly setting you up to fail which must have been so confusing becos their words didn't match their behaviours.

don't laugh at this becos i am serious here:  maybe you should take your small D/U out for a nice treat to make up for the horribleness you remembered today. actually, not to make up for the horribleness, maybe get a nice treat to do a belated celebration of the fact that you got on the team. regardless of what happened a year or two down the line, you deserved to celebrate that day, so why not do it now instead?? get him an icecream or that book he wanted to read, or that cd - he deserves it , he's smart and clever and he got on the team.

[Dutch Uncle]

Thank you! I'll do just that. 

[fairyslipper]

Cptsd mimics borderline so much. I think it was Spartan Life Coach (youtube) that said the BIG difference.....if you were borderline you might not even be asking the question, because you wouldn't care  AND people with cptsd generally have a huge conscience and do not want to hurt others the way a bpd sometimes does. We still care about others even in the midst of our own pain.  I was very scared I had it too in the beginning. 

I am sorry about the memories and EF's. Those are so hard and frustrating to deal with to say the least! It is terrible that they treated  you this way............like walking around with a big shiny pin waiting to pop any happy balloons you might have. One thing they cannot take away from you is your natural talent AND the honor of getting picked!!! YOU get to keep that forever. Even if it isn't getting used today, it is still a huge part of you and something to be very proud of. My npd mother was the same way with my running. I was a natural and did very well, invited to special state meets etc. But she could never make it to any of my special meets, any at all, because she had to cook supper. BS! My dad at least was there every single time.

LOVE arpy1's idea and hope you had a wonderful day of celebrating YOU.