ZOOM Support Groups

[Papa Coco]

This thread is about the ZOOM support groups that are cropping up within the OOTS forum community.

History of the Groups

In late 2023 Kizzie and a few other OOTS forum members started a ZOOM support group. After some experimentation, we have found that meeting for 90 minutes to two hours, once every two weeks works well, and that no agenda is ever needed, because when the 7 of us get together for 90 minutes to two hours, we have plenty to talk about.

Kizzie began the hosting function at first, and I functioned as her backup host whenever she was unable to attend. I have a paid ZOOM account, so I was the most obvious choice. My life is less busy than hers, so when Kizzie felt comfortable enough with me as a host, I offered to lighten her load and take over as permanent host. I now run the sessions and she is my backup.


Status of current ZOOM support groups

By January 2024, Kizzie found out about a few more OOTS members who were hoping to join a support group. Kizzie forwarded their names to me and I've responded by  starting a second support group.

That second group didn't fit all the schedules of the interested people, so I am starting a third group, in hopes that between the two different days and times, most of the interested persons will be able to attend.

Members of these current groups span multiple continents and time zones. The diversity of being in a group with people from multiple countries and cultures enriches the group experience. I am learning so much about how globally similar C-PTSD symptoms and causes really are. It's amazing how alike we are, no matter how differently our worlds look. It's also interesting to hear how differently each country handles the issue of trauma in their cultures.

How the Support Groups work

One person is the host. As the current host of three groups, my only jobs are 1) Pay ~$14 a month to own a ZOOM account, 2) Schedule a recurring 2-hour meeting in the software 3) Send the ZOOM link to the members, 4) Start the ZOOM meeting on time 5) Say hi to everyone.

As the host, I'm really just a member who sends out the link in email and then starts the ZOOM connection.

I feel most comfortable with 4 to 7 members. Each group is closed membership. The same people join each time. Attendance is highly encouraged because, as people with C-PTSD and trust issues, trusting each other to be engaged is critical. Naturally we all have times when we are sick or double-booked or on vacation and can't attend every session, but knowing we all try to attend is a courtesy that is appreciated by all the members.

There are no agendas, and the rules are pretty much just the rules of decency: Be polite to one another. But that's not been an issue with the kind-hearted people who have been joining the groups.

I am online for two hours. We usually go around 90 minutes with everyone, while a few people sometimes stay the whole two hours. 90 minutes to two hours has proven to be ample time for everyone to connect and enjoy each other's company.

Joining a group

Current room: At the time of writing this post, there are openings in our newest, Tuesday group. The first session is scheduled for Tuesday, January 30, 2024. Start time will be (Probably) 9:00 AM in the U.S. Pacific Standard time. Most members are usually in the US and Europe. 9 AM in US PST is 5 PM in London, 6 PM in Sweden and Germany, and 7 PM in Finland, or 4 AM in parts of Australia. (I use www.Timeanddate.com to calculate global start times) The Tuesday start time is still being settled upon, as membership in the Tuesday group is only just starting to build up.

I may not be able to host more meetings at this time, but I am encouraging anyone interested in being a member of a group to respond to this thread OR send me or Kizzie a private message in our private folders on this forum.

If more people want to try a group, we will need more hosts. I'm nothing more than a guy with a ZOOM account and a willingness to commit to being on time each week to start and attend the meetings. If anyone is interested in being a host, I'll be very happy to show how I do it and to help get another meeting started if needed.

Possibilities for the future

I think about how future groups could look. Anyone with a ZOOM account can hold a meeting. Before the internet existed, I hosted a face-to-face meeting for adult male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Groups like that can now be started over ZOOM for people of any specific culture, gender, sexual orientation, or religion.

I can't host more groups, but I can help people start their own groups if asked. Anyone who is interested in finding out how to set up a ZOOM support group, is free to ask any questions about it either here on this thread, or on my private folder.

My hope is that C-PTSD and Relational Trauma Support Groups will begin to flourish all over the world. ZOOM has certainly made it easy for us to get together. I think of how AA was started by one guy who just needed some fellow addiction sufferers to talk to, and now AA meetings are universal and abundant all over the globe. I hope that one day, Trauma support groups follow that same model.

[NarcKiddo]

I'm a member of the first ZOOM group. It was a bit scary at first, for all of us, as we got to know and trust one another. But it has been so helpful and supportive; more so than I ever could have imagined. I can honestly say that I love every member of our group. Sessions when every single member can be present (which, to be fair, is most of them because we are all committed to the group's welfare) are just the best. We feel comfortable enough around one another to say things we might not even tell our therapists!

Huge, huge thanks to Kizzie and Papa Coco for making this possible.

[Bermuda]

I second NK. As the flightiest thing outside of an actual aircraft, the proof is in the fact that I haven't taken flight. Not sure what I would do without you guys. I'd probably spend more time crying in the shower, and that's just a poor use of resources. Being a part of the group is helping me to save water, and thus save the planet. So, it's a pretty big deal.

[Papa Coco]

UPDATE:

Our Tuesday OOTS support group ended up just being three of us. All three of us in attendance felt that a larger group would be more beneficial, so we are discontinuing the Tuesday group and are all attending the existing group that is already in progress.

[Little2Nothing]

Papa Coco, how does one join a zoom group?