Adult Child living with abusive parents and Complex PTSD

[ashechris]

I need advice on how to move out of parents due to the abuse being so bad to my healing. I am a survivor of intent to kill and kidnapping in 2011. I did not get justice then and had no support system. The only support system I had was my therapist that had to fire my Dad. She could not longer see me due to it bc he showed up to her place of work demanding she do what he says or else...I lost everything due to the severtity of my crime. The little money I got from the state was even worst of a feeling. Because it happened in the house I was living in and the damage from the attack was severe. I had to flip the house and sale it.

I lost my resume basically due to being a prisoner in my childhood bedroom and constantly not able to heal in the first place. I only get 800 a month for disability which barely covers me to make it with all my needs from my many issues. Therefore, the bio parents do help with that but it is not worth my life staying here anymore. It is so severe that I almost died last year due to losing much blood from severe ulcers. I was throwing up blood and passing out. They just letft me in my room and I my hemoglobin dropped. If I didnt get 911 dispatcher to track the call and get to hospital in ICU for 5 blood transfusions within hours. I would have died then...the abuse from my dad emotionally and psyhcologically is so bad I am remembering supressed memories as a child at age of 4.

I have no other family, lost all friends, and support. I cant get a therapist bc my bio Dad will sabtoge me getting help or supportive voice. I never even contacted the resources as a victim of violence that the department of justice offered. It's been 7 years now and I feel like I am trapped this time for good if I do not escape ASAP. I have a boxer dog to who is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life and my love of my life. I want to be able to get us out and for her to heal as well.

I have tried to do a blog website but I am overwhelmed with emotions and being sabtoged with abuse now. I am physically so bad right now my hair has fallen out and my mouth has gotten an absces from my jaw not properly fixed.

I feel if I contact the police or anyone here they will do like they always have and label me as insane. Which the police department unfortuantely has no awareness to my previous case or why Im like this...And I am a female in a southern state. Plus the active sherrif sexually assaulted two teenagers and is active still.

I am desperate and in much need of help to find ways to make it out. Finacially l have no savings or anyone to ask. I didnt know of resources, ideas, ways, or any suggestions to help me I would be so grateful...so grateful...to all those surviving as best they can much love to you all...I hope you are in a safe enviornment at least with support bc thats the only way I have relaized now I can survive at this point. We are human beings who did not deserve to be hurt in anyway to the severity we endure today.

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum ashechris,

I'm sorry about the terrible situation you are in. Nobody deserves to be in that situation. I hope it helps you just a little bit to tell us about it. We hear you.

Unfortunately there is nothing in real life we can do, that's not how our forum works. To get practical help you will have to contact someone in your area like doctor, therapist, lawyer

or since you're in the US, you could try Crisis Text Line – https://www.crisistextline.org/purpose/   This is free, 24/7 support via texting for those in crisis. Text 741741 to text with a trained Crisis Counselor. Has an extensive list of referrals in the US (e.g., affordable health care, crime/legal organizations, employment, parenting, self-harm, etc).

I really understand you not wanting to leave your beloved dog behind. An animal brings so much comfort. I wish that you both find help and support fast. 

[Kizzie]

Hi and welcome Ashechris  I am so sorry for all that you have gone through and are currently dealing with, it's just a lot to handle   

As Blueberry suggests you need to reach out to someone in your local area to get some help - I'd suggest your physician and/or social services.   Here we do provide one another with emotional support and encouragement though so keep on posting 

(Note - I added paragraph breaks to your post - makes it easier for members to read. I also moved it to a  relevant forum so more member would see it and respond )