Been lurking for a long time. Hello.

[SpacePasta]

Hi, 3 months ago my therapist told me I had PTSD. When I googled online, I found out about CPTSD. It was crazy, but I feel that I finally found the explanation for much of the suffering in my life. I've been lurking here ever since then, but I was too shy to post until now.

You see, I'm not ready to talk about my past here yet, but I at least wanted to say hello. Is that alright for now? I've actually become a fan of some frequent members of the group, and I wish I could talk to them soon.

Anyway, I call myself SpacePasta due to one of my students as a highschool tutor joking around about the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I didn't know much about it, but for some reason, I actually laughed a little. My own trauma has burdened for me to be serious, but something about this silly joke made me laugh.

So hello? Yes, hello.

[Estella]

Hi SP,

welcome to OOTS. I like your username and remember the Spaghetti monster. You're very welcome here if you want to post or not. I don't tend to post so much either but we're all valued members of this community 

[SpacePasta]

Thank you Estella.

I'll lurk more than post, but I'm glad to interact a little here. I'll try to open up over time, but for now, even this little post is a little too much for me today. I haven't admitted to anyone past my therapist and one close friend about going through trauma, and a public forum where anyone can read my posts is a little quesy for me.

But I will try to stay.

[woodsgnome]

  Hi, SpacePasta 

You're welcome here. OOTS is a diverse group of folks with a common ground stemming from our lives having been wrung through some painful experiences that we still carry in one way or another. For starters, being here means we survived, somehow found each other, and without being clingy or maudlin have decided to rebuild what we can in our quest to find any meaning once the deck was stacked against us  .

It can be an unpleasant task to want to revisit where it all went wrong and/or why; some here have yet to figure it out, others frankly don't want to know, but tip-toe in for the sake of trying to take even a baby-step forward. Even if hesitant, at least here's one place in a cruel world where one can find their own voice and talk, as little or as much as one cares to. Or to use the extensive resources found here as well.

Lots of places boast of being user-friendly; this one walks that talk. Even if it hurts, it can be important to reach out.

So...welcome  again.

[FrillyFarmGirl]

Hello and welcome.

I don't understand how those who are so active and supportive, can be. But I know now if someone is posting as a newbie how much it means to hear back! So I can do that... Hello and welcome!

I love the anonymity of this forum. No one knows me except by my handle. I too have lurked and taken it slowly. I too have not posted my trauma in detail. Not sure it would help me for now.

However, I will say I enjoy the resources, the ideas and the support as I slowly work through these days and tackle the elephant-in-the-room of my life... With gratitude for real solid help and direction at last.

Love and light to you. And blessings too, if you like/need that sort of thing (I do).

[Deep Blue]

Hi Spacepasta
glad you posted.  Many of us were similar in that it took us awhile to post.  New things can be scary for sure.

A tutor huh? That's cool.  I'm a teacher so we have something in common 

Just posting here is a big step, so feel free to take it slow.  Dip your toe in the water so to speak.  Take good care and we are glad you are here.