Is it just me, or am I seeing narcissism alongside CPTSD a lot?

[goblinchild]

Long time no post! I came back with so many questions.

I feel like I'm coming full circle with understanding my parents and what that means for me. I'm working out how all of my problems and theirs are so entwined. It's like one big problem spanning generations.

That being said, I'm starting to notice CPTSD being paired with narcissism/sociopathic tendencies more both in my own treatment and in materials I happen across. I'm not really sure how they work together, is this usually a Thing?

[fighter]

Hi Goblinchild!  I am totally a narcissism magnet. My therapist once commented to me that narcissists could see me from a mile away.  They are predators who feed off of others, first on our empathy and then on our ability to turn us against ourselves.  THey prey upon the very things that make us beautiful and special.  And we are so kind-heated that we allow it because we don't want them to hurt like we do.  Not sure if this is what you are referring to, but this is the connection I have experienced.

[Rainagain]

I've been watching clips of prof Jordan Peterson on utube lately.

He has a lot to say about psychopaths, narcissists etc. Which I would recommend watching.

[sanmagic7]

i wouldn't doubt that many narcs/socios have c-ptsd stemming from their own childhood traumas.  it's how we decide to deal with those traumas that makes such a big difference.

i know my ex has been traumatized, as well as my d1.  however, the ways in which they've decided to go thru life, and their treatment of me and d2 is very different from the ways d2 and i have chosen.  i'm sorry they had it rough, but they didn't have  to be so horribly hurtful and deceitful toward us.  that's a choice.

[Kizzie]

FWIW, here's my take on your question from what I have read. 

Some degree of 'narcissism' is healthy (i.e., establishing and maintaining a healthy degree of self-care, self- protection, personal boundaries) and present in most people. It's when it gets to be extreme that it becomes a personality disorder.  NPD develops when trauma is too much for an individual and thy have to put in place a psychological shield of sorts to protect a very small and fragile ego or self.  The fact that it is a fundamental change to personality results in NPD being treatment resistant. Again,  this is what I have read as someone who developed CPTSD from growing up in a family with uNPD.

CPTSD on the other hand is a stress disorder in which we also suffer trauma but our personality is not fundamentally altered as it is in NDP.  Instead, we develop certain behaviours in reaction to the stress we experience (hypervigilance, avoidance and isolation, etc).  which work at the time, but become problematic.  Whereas NPD is treatment resistant, CPTSD responds to treatment. 

What determines where a person ends up on this continuum (healthy to extreme reactions to trauma) seems involve variables such as the amount and type of trauma experienced, support and connection in a person's life, even cultural differences.

Hope this helps.   I am not a psychologist so it's just my take on things. 

[goblinchild]

Kizzie, that does help.
I'm not focused as much on the abuse, at this point, as I am the tenancies I'm struggling with in myself.  I guess, based on that description, I'd be caught somewhere in the middle.
There are a lot of tenancies I had really noticeably when I was younger that I've caught and fixed on my own (not that it was easy) as I've grown up. I don't think it's really noticeable now, but there are some deeper roots of problems and finer details that I haven't worked out.
For example, since I've posted this I've more clearly realized that I think I understand or process people's attention in a different way? I'm not sure what amount of needing attention is normal. When I feel like no one is paying attention to me directly, it feels like nobody cares at all. Which is illogical. It's not like I can't reason that I know I care about people even when I'm not able to pay them attention. Even though it's illogical, I still deeply feel this way. I haven't had those attention-seeking and holding behaviors for years but I never learned how to actually feel like people care without direct attention all the time.
It seems like a trauma-rooted thing to me, which is why I brought it here.

[Kizzie]

I never learned how to actually feel like people care without direct attention all the time. It seems like a trauma-rooted thing to me, which is why I brought it here.

I think I know what you mean Goblinchild, I am towards the middle as well.  I have difficulty feeling loved and connected when my H is away which he is a lot with work.  I do know he loves me, but I feel adrift when he is away, insecure and afraid and I know this is trauma related. For me it seems to stem from fear at a very deep level of being abandoned/rejected. 

in any event,  I think you may be right that we process attention somewhat differently. It's as though that direct attention and presence allows us to be able to feel the care through the layers of trauma we carry.  People who are on the healthier end of the spectrum don't have this in spades like we do so perhaps it is easier/simpler for them to feel the love and care?