Hi, I'm new

[James]

This is my first time here, I stumbled upon Out of the Storm a couple weeks ago and have benefited from the content.
I've been struggling with anxiety issues for nearly 15 years now and only recently discovered the diagnosis CPTSD and I think it fits me well. I struggle intensely in relationships with people I have to work with or live with. People who are controlling send me into intense anger (which I never express but bury and try to make it go away,) and angry people send me into terrifying anxiety and fear. Somehow I've ended up in a life situation where I have to deal with both controlling and angry people and my life is very difficult right now. I feel like I am constantly on a roller coaster of difficult and scary emotions one day then calm the next day. I've been reading and researching like crazy to understand my problems better and hopefully this forum will be another step in the right direction!

[Dee]

Welcome!

[Three Roses]

Welcome! I relate to everything you've said. Angry people make me feel horribly threatened and controlling people make me feel like running! Relationships are a struggle. It helps to remember to check myself to see if I'm having an emotional flashback, but first I have to remember to check! Easier said than done. Anyway, glad you're here.

[owlpower]

Welcome, James!

I, too, have struggled with chronic anxiety and have only recently discovered its relationship to CPTSD. Before discovering Out of the Storm (OOTS), I began researching and collecting articles on the subject of CPTSD. The one below was a good place to start for me. You may have already come across it yourself:

https://glynissherwood.com/5-steps-to-overcoming-chronic-anxiety/

The site has a host of other excellent articles as well. Good luck on your journey.

[Blueberry]

Welcome James 

[Resca]

Welcome, James! It's a pleasure to have you with us.

[James]

Welcome, James!

I, too, have struggled with chronic anxiety and have only recently discovered its relationship to CPTSD. Before discovering Out of the Storm (OOTS), I began researching and collecting articles on the subject of CPTSD. The one below was a good place to start for me. You may have already come across it yourself:

https://glynissherwood.com/5-steps-to-overcoming-chronic-anxiety/

The site has a host of other excellent articles as well. Good luck on your journey.

Thanks for the link Owl, I'll take all the help I can get.

[Slackjaw99]

Hi James and welcome. From your intro, I'd say you are definitely qualified to join our club. Given that you have difficulty connecting with people, I'd encourage you to learn all you can about developmental trauma disorder (DTD) and how your family of origin (FOO) ended up blessing you with such an awful gift. For me, it was my mother (also a cPTSD sufferer) who recoiled from the sound of my crying as an infant and failed to meet my basic needs. Having an insecure maternal attachment plus later emotional abuse from my FOO completely handicapped me when it came to trying to connect with others. Other people could sense in me a level of anxiety combined with no self-esteem that caused them to not want anything to do with me. The exception were bullies who could smell fresh meat whenever I was near.

There's one thing that all people with cPTSD or even PTSD have in common. That is the inability to release accumulated traumatic energy through cathartic grieving and angering. So much attention is given to what caused the trauma by the support and therapeutic communities that this common denominator is often overlooked. I was fortunate to have such a catharsis, and now consider myself trauma free (although I'm still dealing with all the orphaned thinking and behavior habits). Feel free to PM me if you want to know more about how I was able to gain freedom from cPTSD.

[James]

There's one thing that all people with cPTSD or even PTSD have in common. That is the inability to release accumulated traumatic energy through cathartic grieving and angering.

Thanks Slackjaw, I've never heard it put quite like that but it makes sense. I have difficulty expressing emotions and a counselor did tell me that he thought that this was behind a lot of my anxiety. A couple of times in my life I've been in relationships where I felt more free to express what I was feeling and I think that helped greatly with the anxiety. The problem is most of my life I haven't been in such relationships and I don't know how to make such a relationship happen. With most people I don't feel safe or close enough to the person to really express what I'm feeling inside.

ps. I sent you a pm for more info about your experience