Intuition or paranoia?

[Gromit]

I know trust issues are connected to CPTSD, just wondered about a situation I have at a moment where I feel very distrustful. Is it my gut talking? Intuition? Or am I just unable to trust? Paranoia?

I hire a venue for my job. I recently changed venue because the last place no longer worked for what I needed. The new place is much better but, I need to book more time after Easter, I teach a group the same time every week there, in term time. I thought the manager said it was mostly free on this day which is why I changed day. Now, it is only available for half the days I require.

Did I not make myself clear? That I would need it every term for X days? Maybe they just book in the first person who asks and I needed to ask sooner about next term? Now maybe I need to work out which days I need for a whole year as cancelling is easier than not having anywhere. So I have done that, and asked about next year. I am waiting for a response.

In the back of my mind I wonder if I am being strung along, if someone else decides to book they will let them have the space first.

My evidence for this? Well, with this term the manager kept telling me it was fine, no one used the room on the day I wanted it but never confirmed the booking. Then, weeks later lets me know all the dates were fine, except one so I had to make a change to my arrangements. So, I don't feel I can trust them until I get a firm confirmation, by email, of each date.

Logically, my cash is as good as anyones, so why would they hire to someone else and mess me about because I would be a long term user. Every other venue I use has got to the point of automatically knowing I will need the space I hire from them so, even if I don't ask months in advance it is always fine. I must admit the place I used before was so disorganised they never confirmed dates early for me but I had been there so long I knew they didn't have anything else going on, I only heard from them when there was a problem, usually caused by another tenant.

I hate having doubts but, it is like 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' a wonderful expression I googled and explained to my T as it is not widely used in the UK. Why cannot I just trust? Why think this manager is out to thwart me? It's just teething troubles with the new venue.

Sorry it is long, it has just been spinning around in my head all day 

[Three Roses]

Tbh, it's my experience that most people are not very good at really listening to each other. (I can be guilty of this, too.) If arriving at agreements verbally doesn't work out with someone, I'm likely to ask for a follow-up email to put things in black and white. From there its easier to see if someone is simply misunderstanding me, or is purposely being thick.

[sanmagic7]

i agree with 3roses that communication can be hazy between people.   i think you can trust your gut on this one that something was misunderstood, not clarified, and needed to be written out.  i've found out thru the years that having it in writing, especially when i'm dealing with something new has always been my best bet.  sounds like the manager wasn't particularly clear or definite.

sorry you're having to jump thru hoops on this.  i hope it straightens out to your satisfaction.   

[Gromit]

Thanks Sanmagic & Threeroses I have managed to book the whole of the next year to my satisfaction now, so it was just my paranoia & the learning curve of dealing with someone new. May as well do it this way with all the other places I use instead of doing it term by term. Once a year instead of 3 times, less anxiety all round.

Doesn't solve the immediate issue but I am working on that & I have a pretty understanding class.

I much prefer things written down & clear, and take little notice of verbal promises until I have an email or form with things all laid out. It is just so hard getting that from some people. I did have to remind this manager to give me their T's & C's, which asked for my insurance etc 🙄 She should have been asking me for that not me working it out.
G

[sanmagic7]

i'm just glad it's resolved, gromit.  i've dealt with quite a few people like that and it's frustrating, to say the least.  glad you have understanding people by your side.  big hug.