Greetings (possible TW)

[WandaGershowitz]

Hello All,

My therapist recommended I explore forums and online support for PTSD and related issues after a visit to an in-person support group triggered me severely. I'm impressed and comforted by the overwhelmingly supportive and compassionate tone of the posts I've read here so far, and grateful to have found this resource.

Trigger Warning

My family operated in varying degrees of dysfunction throughout my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. I experienced sexual abuse from an older brother when I was 10-11, and physical abuse from my father from about 8-13, both of which were enabled by my passive mother. My parents took my siblings and me out of public schools and homeschooled us when I was seven years old, which exacerbated the shyness I already experienced, and made maintaining friends difficult. My early childhood memories are pretty happy, but when my parents experienced financial problems and my father suffered a serious injury (I was about age 8-9), he became extremely violent to me and my four siblings, often hitting us with whatever was nearest - broomsticks, tools, etc., flew into a rage at the slightest provocation.

When I finally worked up the courage to tell my mother about the sexual abuse, she at first didn't believe me. My memory of the timeline after I told her is spotty, but I remember her coming to me a few days afterward and questioning me again, and when I affirmed what I'd previously told her, she informed my that my father beat my brother severely as punishment. My parents never spoke of it again, and definitely did not seek professional help for me nor my brother. Since then, nobody in my family (those who knew, anyway) has ever acknowledged the incident, and I tried earnestly to put it behind me until beginning therapy two years ago. My parents still pressure me to spend more time with my brother, and are in complete denial. Needless to say, these events have plagued my adult life and inhibited me professionally and personally. I'm immensely grateful to have found this forum to share my story and hopefully support others.

[Candid]

Hi Wanda,  I'm glad you've signed up.  This forum is where it's at for people with CPTSD, and your therapist sounds like a good one. 

My parents still pressure me to spend more time with my brother, and are in complete denial. Needless to say, these events have plagued my adult life and inhibited me professionally and personally.

Yes, that's the way it works. :sigh:

I look forward to getting to know you better.

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, WG! So glad you're here. 

If i may make a suggestion - if this is your real name, it's possible for you to change it to preserve your anonymity. You can change it by clicking on Account Settings (under your name) and changing your name that is displayed to others on the forum.

My parents, until they died, pressured me to have contact with my older male sibling. It was hard resisting, and going limited contact (LC) with my parents (on top of NC with the sibling) did a world of good for me. Hopefully you will find an answer to this to relieve some of the pressure you feel, my heart is with you. 

[WandaGershowitz]

Many thanks to both of you for your encouragement and support.

If i may make a suggestion - if this is your real name, it's possible for you to change it to preserve your anonymity. You can change it by clicking on Account Settings (under your name) and changing your name that is displayed to others on the forum.

It's not my real name, but I appreciate the suggestion all the same.