how can I help

[mike]

Hello,
    First let me just say I don't suffer from CPTSD but my girlfriend of 3 years was recently diagnosed and I am trying to get any advise I can on what I can do to help her in any way that I can. As she has just recently been diagnosed she herself has no answer to the question nor would I expect her to.  I am a very pro active person and if any one can give me any advise or tips or point me in the right direction for literature or just anything I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you

[Three Roses]

Hi, Mike! Thanks for joining, and for supporting your girlfriend.

I would suggest that learning about CPTSD in general would be your first step. There's a great book that explains what happens to the brain as a result of traumatic events called "The Body Keeps The Score", by Bessel van Der Kolk. There is another book that goes more into the symptoms themselves (does she freeze when triggered? does she flee?) the title of which is "CPTSD: From Surviving To Thriving" by Pete Walker, who also has a great website, http://pete-walker.com/.

Maybe others will have other ideas - hope this helps!

[Lilfae]

Hi Mike!
Like Three Roses say, it's good to know the symptoms and why she got them in the first place as PTSD can be caused by a majority of reasons.

But for me, what I needed and wanted the most from my previous partners, were to be allowed to be emotional compromised, without hearing the usual lines of "Just think positive", "Stop overreacting", "you're being like a child", "pull yourself together" etc. Those are not helpful lines, even if you feel super frustrated there and then.  but also to be allowed to have panic attacks, to ride through them and get some help getting out on the other side. That kind of help can be guiding her to breathe calmly (deep inhale, and even longer exhale), or talk to her, ask her if she can tell you 5 items in the room you're in. It might sound stupid, but once you're in the middle of a panic attack your amygdala is on high alert and taking over brain function, meaning your language center will have less "power", but by forcing the language center back on, you're also limiting the affect amygdala has on your brain and it'll help reduce the anxiety.  That's what I got at the top of my head.

[SilverLingingA]

Hi Mike,
I think the resources Lilfae and Three Roses gave you are the best resources of information you can find to better understand CPTSD and the effects of trauma. Therapy is always a great great resource! PE & CPT have been shown to be the most effective kind of therapy for trauma recovery, at least thats the research the VA has found with PTSD-
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/treatment/therapy-med/treatment-ptsd.asp
I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how how kind it is of you to want to help you girlfriend. Support is the best thing you can do for her. She is going to have a long road of recovery work to work out whatever traumatic experiences she's suffered, having a hand to hold through the process will be very beneficial for her. I just wanted you to know I think its great you want to help her through this process.