Hello!

[Bohemian_]

Hi!

I'm a 25 year old Scandinavian woman who suffers from CPTSD.

On the outside I'm hard working (I have to keep myself busy all the time to cope with all the emotions) and happy. But inside I'm a scared little girl who's terrified for everything and suffers from anxiety, toxic shame, OCD+++. One thing that makes me able to cope with everything is music. I sing, play different instruments and write my own songs.

I grew up with severe emotional abuse from my narcissistic father and bullying at school. A few years ago I was the victim of sexual abuse by a man I though was my friend.

Well... I don't know what more to say.. I'm looking for others to share experiences with. So... Text me if you want to! 

[Elphanigh]

Hi there! First welcome, I am glad you found this place. Second, I am sorry that you went through that but I can also understand you a lot.

Your coping mechanisms are much like mine. Stay busy all the time, and just keep the emotions at bay. I am getting better at not having to do that, and have faith you will too one day. I am only 23 but I did start down this road much earlier.  I too play multiple instruments, I haven't written songs in years though, I love that you do. It is such a healthy coping mechanism and outlet

I experienced a lot of abuse, and have experience with narcissistic people and sexual abuse from people that were supposed to be friends.

I am here if you ever need something. I hope you find this place as wonderful as I do. It has a lot of support and knowledge to offer 

[sanmagic7]

welcome, bohemian, so glad you made it here.

i'm another one who has kept busy in order to avoid thoughts and feelings.  busy physically or mentally - somehow i was always working.

i'm glad you've found music as something positive for your life.  it's a good thing.  hope to see more of you here. 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Bohemian 

On the outside I'm hard working (I have to keep myself busy all the time to cope with all the emotions) and happy. But inside I'm a scared little girl who's terrified for everything and suffers from anxiety, toxic shame, OCD+++.

No child is equipped to deal with what so many of us went through, so it makes sense that younger us gets stuck in trauma time.  Music is a great way to sooth and calm that part of you, and no doubt as you read and post here you'll find other things that help that part of you to feel safer, happier even.

I took the approach that there was an actual little girl inside who needed to have some fun so we (I) did a lot of things to entice her to show herself more, giggle and be silly, do crafts - things little girls like to do.  I even joined a drumming group and she and I had a blast.  I also bought her a giant teddy bear which to this day sits in the bedroom and makes me laugh every time I see him.  When my H goes away with work, he fills up the other side of the bed lol.

Anyway, it really helped in my case to give younger me a lot of positive attention and love.  Just thought I'd share that with you in case you want to try to do something similar.   

[Kat]

Welcome!  I look forward to getting to know you.  I'm pretty new here, too.

[H0peful]

Welcome to you, Bohemian, I'm new here, too.  There are some very supportive people here, and so many of us have been through probably some similar things.  Look forward to getting to know you, and others here, better.  Your relationship with music sounds like a really positive thing.

All best!