Feeling Suicidal Again

[BlueMoon_]

I was suicidal about 3 months ago, was in therapy then and then got better, but now has been the first time I have been suicidal again.

I think for a while I have just accepted that I am weak and unable to defend myself or others, and accepted my life was going to be that way. But I feel like since going to more therapy my self esteem has raised and I don't want to live a life like that anymore, it's too disgusting.

My therapist told me to look at the facts before, since they can be distorted, but this is the facts. I'll never be strong enough to defend myself.