Can't get a clear answer in therapy, so upset and frustrated!

[Des]

Hi,

I hope this is ok I just needed to reach out to people who might understand.  I have been to T today and she has said she has been talking to the colleagues she was going to refer me to on to when my weekly T finishes with her in three weeks, I will see her for review over 6 months and then it will finish completely. 

She said that her colleagues have advised that I would need to not be dissociating anymore and would be able to ground myself/ handle my emotions better than I can now in order to get this further therapy.

I am devastated as I don't know how to do this, I had a dissociative episode where I couldn't hear her after she told me this.

I don't know how I am supposed to get better, I feel so trapped.

Take Care

[Rain]

Oh, good grief, Des ...if anything ...this means you need therapy ...not less.

My head hurts with the lack of logic in this.

And, of course, this puts more stress on you ...which increases the dissociation.

So, how does your T answer when you ask, "how are you going to help me on dissociating and grounding then?"

I'm sorry Des!    I can understand why you feel this way.    I don't have answers, but others here at OOTS likely will.   I can share a hug with you though!   

[Sandals]

Oh, Des, I can understand how you feel. The dissociating is not a choice you are consciously making, which makes you feel trapped because you can't control the factor they are asking you to.

Can you help me understand the reason for you moving from your current T to a new one?

[schrödinger's cat]

So your therapist is basically saying that you'd need therapy before you could get therapy?    It's not like dissociation comes with its own little off switch... I hope this gets resolved soon. I can only imagine how frustrating this has to be.

[keepfighting]

 

Is she going to help you with that in the last remaining sessions so you  'qualify' for more T? - I sincerely hope that that's what she was saying while you dissociated after hearing this assessment (that's the only positive spin I can possibly give to this piece of your conversation during your session today - everything else that comes to mind is not fit for decent company  ).

Maybe write her a quick email and ask how she is gonna help you work towards this goal - it is pretty obvious that you both need and deserve more T.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope you can sort this out! 

[Des]

Hi,

Thanks for your replies, it helps to know you understand. 

Sandals I have to change my therapist because it is being provided by the NHS (I live in the UK) and this course of treatment was for 24 weekly sessions which are coming to an end and to access more it would be with another T on the NHS and my current T would need to refer me.

She did say something about working on things over the next two sessions but I don't see how much can be done in that time, I have written her a letter to see what she intends but I feel like giving up.

Hugs

[Annegirl]

oh Des,  she sounds like she's in the wrong business!!
is there any way you can get a new T?

[keepfighting]

  Des!

I'm rooting for you!

Hang in there! You're not alone. 

[alovelycreature]

Hey Des, you should definitely bring up your feelings in the next session or give your T a call. That sounds terrible to start building a relationship with someone and then having to switch! Not good for CPTSD. Have you thought about or written down the pros and cons of this ending and starting with a new therapist? Or thought about why this upsets you? I personally would feel mad if someone I didn't know (the other therapists) told me how I felt or what I needed without knowing me.

I have seen different therapists. At first switching made me irritated, but then I learned something new from each one. It was almost like having a fresh set of eyes look at where I was was more helpful than all the previous work I had done with the previous T.

Hope I'm not silver lining what's going on. I just know sometimes its easy to get caught up in thoughts when things are stressful. 

[Des]

Thank you all, I have written to my T explaining how I feel and have asked her to reply but she hasn't so now I am in turmoil and feel that I can't think anything but that she is angry with me about sending the letter.b

It's my own fault I should have left it alone I think. 

Take Care x

[keepfighting]

Thank you all, I have written to my T explaining how I feel and have asked her to reply but she hasn't so now I am in turmoil and feel that I can't think anything but that she is angry with me about sending the letter.b

It's my own fault I should have left it alone I think. 

Take Care x

Des, you always have the right to ask for clearification - nothing wrong with that and I really do hope that your T is not the kind of person who would be angry at you for doing that. If you have a question or a concern, it's okay to bring it forward! There could be any number of reasons why she hasn't answered yet - maybe she just prefers to answer your questions in person during your next session???

Be good to yourself and try and have some patience with yourself and your T.



kf

[Des]

Thanks keepfighting,

Your reply has helped me to calm down and get things in perspective a bit.  I think I have a tendency to always think I have done something wrong and expect a bad response from others.  One of the things I need to work on 

Take care 

[Badmemories]

Wes wrote:

Your reply has helped me to calm down and get things in perspective a bit.  I think I have a tendency to always think I have done something wrong and expect a bad response from others.  One of the things I need to work on 

ME! TOO!

[globetrotter]

Hey, Des -
I used to get email responses from my T (and I don't email her very often) and then she quit responding. I'm one who has a hard time opening up, so I think she prefers to talk 1:1 - she'll bring up my email in our sessions; it gives us a topic to discuss vs. her playing 20 questions.

Also, we have been doing a lot of body work over time and it's helped considerably with reducing my habit of tuning out/dissociating/numbing in my sessions. You can, too - you need a T who can help you with that. Don't give up! It can be done.

[Des]

Thanks globetrotter and badmemories,

My T has sent me a brief voicemail message which was reassuring in that she said she wasn't angry and will speak to me about it at my session tomorrow

Take care