What kind of therapy for adult survivors?

[samantha19]

Hey,

I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the therapy options. There's people centred, CBT, etc, etc.

I think EDMR or whatever it is sounds good but I don't think I can commit to that cost right now.

So, what therapy helps heal C-PTSD? I feel like I am quite deeply traumatised from my life. I need help. I don't know how to find a therapist that is really good with child abuse cases because on the counselling directory they all just seem to tick everything, so everyone is good at dealing with abuse apparently.

Any insight is much appreciated! Thanks in advance.

[Three Roses]

In the book "The Body Keeps The Score", the author lists several different types of therapy. Dr van Der Kolk is well-known authority on complex trauma, and the book is also in audio version on YouTube. Some of the types he talks about are yoga, EMDR, and IFS (internal family systems).

As soon as I started listening to it on YouTube I couldn't stop!    It is so informative and validating. He talks about how the brain is physically changed by trauma and why a simply "top-down" approach like CBT may not help us that much.

Don't know how much help that is but I hope you find some answers

[Dee]

I feel a combination is best.  My therapist is a CBT therapist, but I don't think a purist.  I feel it is mostly talk therapy.  But I have tried to change some of my thinking.  I have a cognitive distortion of all or nothing thinking, I try to think in percentages.  I try to work on assertiveness rights as well.  Also, I do image rehearsal therapy with another therapist for a short time.  I had a meditation coach, but that didn't work well for me, I didn't like him.  Maybe no one therapy can do it alone.

[woodsgnome]

I'm hardly an expert on types of therapy, though I've had several therapists; some okay, some not so. Sometimes I was able to choose; other times I was limited by my remote location and inability to travel much. Or afford much out-of-pocket expense. One year I worked out a payment plan involving cutting the therapist's winter supply of firewood!--at other times I qualified for government assistance.

My current therapist is hands down the best I've had. It's partly personality fit, the gut level instinct that kicks in with anyone, but is especially important regarding someone to whom you might be spilling your insides out in seeking help. In my case, she's someone who I feel safe with concerning some very fragile feelings. Being vulnerable can be deadly with the wrong person. I needed someone with a high level of sensitivity. This therapist I feel very safe with; even so, the first couple sessions were a bit tentative, until I realized she really 'walked the talk', which to me is as important as umpteen years of expertise. Which is  great, but how does one use that knowledge? That's been a key for me.

She uses a range of the modalities, but doesn't push them on me, and is quite expert at what she's doing, whether it be talk or techniques such as emdr--she's good at both. In our first session, she stressed that she doesn't so much do therapy to someone, but works with the client to handle what one's issues really require. She also isn't on a power/ego trip and recommends other modalities (e.g. yoga nidra; mindfulness meditation) she feels can help me outside the sessions, and is very open to my suggestions and questions, as she considers me the most important part of the equation and not just the client over there.

I'm treated as a human, not a robot in for repairs. It's a place I feel allowed to contribute, while obviously she has certain expertise well beyond mine. So it's worked out, but I also have to stress it hasn't been at easy either. I'm willing to accept that, though; I need the therapy that goes deep, isn't afraid to deal with vulnerability, can challenge and yet is still gentle and caring. Kind of a tall order--I feel fortunate to have found this sort of therapist. They're rare, I gather.

Okay. Beyond that glowing individual impression of one therapist, I'm sorry I have so little solid opinions or suggestions. Rating what's best can vary from person to person. I can say I'm suspicious of the role of insurance companies and/or government agencies in pushing therapists towards certain approaches based on suspected length of treatment. Really? Quality seems to get pushed aside in favour of quantity. It might be worth inquiring whether the therapist can be independent enough to negotiate that side of things and not be a pawn to those outside parties. My therapist hates that, but puts up with it to put the client's needs first.

I don't feel especially confident or capable enough to recommend any specific approach as being superior to another 100% of the time. Using your gut level instinct and feeling safe with a therapist might seem unscientific and all, but to me it still seems like the best starting place. The human side above the robotic approach, I guess.

[cdnPunkin]

I have seen so many different kinds of therapist over the years that I couldn't describe all their modalities. I saw my first therapist at the age of 8; my mother's friend, who was a gestalt therapist that traumatized me by not listening to what I was honestly saying.

Over the past year and a half I've been seeing a Relational Psychotherapist here in Toronto. This is the first time I've been able to really dig deep into my relationship with my mother and family, my experience of being severely bullied and ostracized from the ages of 6 to 17, and felt HEARD. I have suffered my whole life with debilitating CPTSD, and discovered what it was only two years ago. Slow but steady progress is finally happening.

I wish you good luck in your journey to find someone!

[Candid]

I feel like I am quite deeply traumatised from my life. I need help. I don't know how to find a therapist that is really good with child abuse cases because on the counselling directory they all just seem to tick everything, so everyone is good at dealing with abuse apparently.

I had two years of EMDR and got nowhere, so don't worry about not being able to afford that. The next therapist (in a long line) told me the EMDR expert had breached all sorts of boundaries, chiefly by getting me to edit her writing instead of paying for my sessions. But then the next therapist refused to see me any more because I wouldn't also have regular sessions with a psychiatrist to medicate me. I'm a difficult client, apparently. My mother would be so pleased to know that.

I'm about to try again because I feel I have no choice. I intend to ask the new therapist whether s/he has experience with adults traumatised by their own parents. If s/he isn't familiar with at least some of the studies we on OOTS know about, I'll probably walk.

For heaven's sake, Harry Harlow's cruel experiments with baby monkeys, cloth 'mothers' and spiked 'mothers', were in the Fifties. How does anyone get through a psychology degree without knowing the results???

Ooops, foaming at the mouth a bit. Good luck with finding what you need.

[Eyessoblue]

Hi, it's so confusing isn't it. I've had a therapist to begin with who taught me mindfulness techniques then had an assessment with a psychologist who confirmed I had ptsd, though I think it's more cptsd but because it's not listed on the dsm she said she can't actually diagnose that as a condition! Then I moved on to a psychiatrist for an assessment and medication talk and now I'm on a 12 week programme of cbt to teach me self soothing and compassionate therapy, once the 12 weeks is up I then go on to a trauma therapist for 12 weeks then on to a therapist who deals in EMDR which I believe goes on for 16-18 weeks. It is a really long process and lots of waiting lists (I'm in the uk). But I do believe I'm in the right hands and getting the best treatment possible. I guess it all depends on where you live as to what help is available for you etc.

[Saule]

It's difficult to know who to choose, hey? I lucked out with my current therapist, who I found on an EMDR practitioner database. She takes a very individualised, eclectic approach, and has basically specialised in trauma her entire career. So in addition to EMDR, she also uses Ego State Therapy (similar to Internal Family Systems), somatic experiencing, mindfullness, Havening, plus other bits and pieces I'm not sure of exactly.

Different therapeutic approaches will work for different people, and not all therapists practicing these methods will be a great fit just because they use a particular type of therapy.

As mentioned earlier, I really think Bessel Van der Kolk has some great things to say in his book. I do a lot of the stuff he talks about, either in therapy or outside (trauma senstitive yoga and resonant breathing to improve heart rate variability).

I wish you all the best in finding the right therapist and therapies for you.

[solongStockholm]

I see an art/talk therapist who uses mindfulness and comes from an attachment based perspective. After 15 years of "talk therapy" this approach is the only one that's gotten me anywhere. I suggest you try it! Look up attachment-based/focused therapy.

[Saule]

I see an art/talk therapist who uses mindfulness and comes from an attachment based perspective. After 15 years of "talk therapy" this approach is the only one that's gotten me anywhere. I suggest you try it! Look up attachment-based/focused therapy.

I agree, attachment focused therapy can be very powerful. My therapist also includes aspects of attachment-based therapy with the work we do together. Even just the psychoeducation around attachment theory has been really helpful for me in understanding my experiences and behaviour.

[MissLou]

I'm seeing a psychiatrist in relation to an injury that happened at work, and today, after sharing what I held back at our initial meeting (and without throwing up all over him, which I felt like I might do) he's suggested DBT.
No decisions were made today, but I see him again in 3 weeks time and I think I'll give it a go.
(This is the first time I've seen any professional/disclosed anything about my childhood)

[sanmagic7]

i hope it goes well for you, misslou, and you find help, relief, and healing.  best to you.  big hug.

[Three Roses]

Wow, miss Lou, you're taking the bull by the horns! Way to go!