Hi. I'm new here.

[threegirlpeaches]

Hi. My name is Angela. I am a 37 y/o married mom of three girls and I am a volunteer firefighter. I was diagnosed several years ago with C-PTSD after a lifetime of childhood sexual abuse, neglect, and ten years of a very abusive marriage followed by his death from the effects of alcoholism.

I take medication for anxiety and depression. I suffer from trichotillomania...the hair pulling disease. I am a very anxious and angry person with a lot of fears and phobias.

I am trying to be a good mom, wife, friend, and public servant. It's really difficult to be a good, productive member of society with all of this going on. I look forward to being a part of this group. Thanks.

[Jdog]

Threegirlpeaches-

A warm welcome to you!  I'm glad. You have found us, and I think you will find many kind and caring people here with whom to share life's ups and downs.  You sure have a lot on your plate, with the girls, your firefighting, and the healing you are doing. 

Poke around the site all you want, and I hope you get lots of validation and some relief as you realize how many of us are here to listen and share with you.

[mourningdove]

Welcome, threegirlpeaches! 

[Wife#2]

Hi, threegirlpeaches! *** Editing to remove actual name, replacing with MY substitution ***

While it's slightly sad to have so many new people to welcome, we are still VERY glad you found this site. There will be people who will completely understand ALL that you've been through and the journey you are taking to wellness. What you've got on your plate does sound like it can be overwhelming at times.

It nearly broke my heart to read this part:

I take medication for anxiety and depression. I suffer from trichotillomania...the hair pulling disease. I am a very anxious and angry person with a lot of fears and phobias.

As I've had another wonderful poster remind me, we may feel these things, they don't identify us. Of course, given all you've been through, there is a lot of anxiety AND anger in your heart. I know it sounds silly, but you wouldn't walk up to someone and say, 'Hello, I'm angry, good to meet you.' Because your identity is not angry, it's Lady. Lady is ALLOWED to FEEL angry, even most of the time! Even ALL the time. Still doesn't make angry into a pronoun. Because, somewhere inside Lady is also a well of loving, kindness, thoughtful and joyous. Those are hidden under layers of angry and fearful and anxious. Still, all of those are there together, making up the whole that is Lady.  And, while complicated and confusing and sometimes upsetting, as all of us can be, I get a feeling that Lady is a pretty terrific person, strong and capable in many ways. I think I'm going to like getting to know Lady better! 

I am so sorry that you have suffered so much. It isn't right and it isn't fair and you deserved better. You've been let down and hurt by the very people who should have been loving and cherishing you. Here, we understand. Here, you can tell us and we'll believe you. Some will even know exactly how you feel. Here, we share tools for getting better in spite of all we've been through. Here, we care about the whole you - all of Lady, even the angry feelings and the ugly thoughts.

Welcome. We are glad you chose to join us. You don't have to suffer in silence anymore. 

[sanmagic7]

welcome, angela, so glad you found us.  i've found this place to be so supportive and helpful on so many levels.  my wish for you is that you find what you need here. 

[threegirlpeaches]

Thanks y'all. I want to cry reading your responses because I have already been an emotional wreck today.

[Three Roses]

Whoops, forgot to mention - we usually ask people to not use their real names, or anything that could jeopardize their anonymity. If you'd like to change your user name, go to your profile and click on Modify Profile, then Account Settings - it's the first option there.

Glad you're here!