New Discovery

[Blossoming]

Hi everyone. I'm so happy I found this site. Although I'm in my late 40's I'm just beginning to understand what I have been living with all these years and it's a huge relief. I was contemplating the possibility of me being a quiet borderline but cPTSD seems to fit a bit better. As I was reading around here and realized so many others share my same symptoms I found it quite comforting. Not that I would wish those things on anyone but knowing I'm not alone is a huge relief. I know I have a long road ahead of me but for the first time in a long time due to my new insights I'm starting to feel more hopeful. Thanks for having me.

[writetolife]

Hi Blossom,

I'm new here, too, and my experience mirrors yours so much, I just had to reply.  I thought I might be a quiet borderline, too, but something in it didn't feel right.  But people's experiences in this forumn just click, just make my life make so much more sense.  I wish I didn't have to self-diagnose, since CPTSD isn't officially recognized, but I'm so sure.  It's like finally finding someone who understands me. 

I suddenly feel the need to start singing "We're all in this together" from High School Musical. 

[Blossoming]

Thanks for your response writetolife! I wish I didn't have to self diagnose either but such is life I suppose. In the end I don't think an official diagnosis even matters really. I've never met a mental health professional yet that could quite categorize me anyway and I ultimately I think we really know ourselves better than anyone else. There is something to be said for having insight into our own situation. I believe that's a form of metacognition.
After I read about others here living with skin picking and eating disorders I knew I'd definitely found my tribe so to speak. I never quite felt the same connection with my eating disorder recovery group because I didn't have strong body dysmorphia, want to be thin or binge/purge I just had a really hard time eating enough consistently and being obsessed with eating the 'right' foods. I now understand that the eating disorder was probably secondary to my cPTSD and a form of self neglect that I learned in childhood. I'm so glad you replied. 

[Three Roses]

Welcome!

[Blossoming]

Thanks Three Roses.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Blossom    So glad to hear you are feeling hopeful and have already had a post from a member who really connects with your own experience. 

I hope you find lots of support and encouragement here 

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hi Blossom, welcome, great to meet you! 

I am new here too and similar age to you. It's wonderful to find a community like this where you are validated for being you, isn't it!    It's taken me a long time to get to this point of realisation too. For years I battled alone, not understanding what was going on. No one noticed anything wrong (as usual) but my world was shrinking as my symptoms grew in severity. I self-diagnosed a few years ago after doing some reading and now have a wonderful T.

Blessings,
Fen

[Blossoming]

  Thanks for the welcome Kizzie and Fen.

I think the initial honeymoon feeling from finally figuring things out officially wore off today. I'm going to try to find a therapist. I had a good one for my eating disorder recovery that I haven't talked to in a year but I might call her and just see if she has any recommendations.

I might start a journal too. I've been struggling to work just part time for over three years now so I'd be interested in getting an evaluation for disability too. I'm not shutting the door on ever working again but I've realized my current career is not a good fit for someone with my mental health issues. I am having a hard time contemplating a career change though until I start feeling and coping better emotionally.

Reading about other people's experiences here is really helpful.