What do people think...

[radical]

'What's the sound of one hand clapping?"
The Roshi asked me that one.  I meditated on it.  I left Zen soon after.  So I want to cheat here.  What was the answer you came up with?

[Coolzville]

Thank you for sharing. I am new to this board but not to the condition. How powerful that you were able to stand up for yourself. The mantra with any therapy for me is Go Slow. I went too fast once and being an overachiever I learned my lesson. To me therapy and the therapist is art not science. Trust being the main gift that a therapist can give me I ask them many questions and I am very honest and I expect the same. If my therapist won't share anything with me I feel abandoned. If they share too much I feel there's competition. It's not easy to find the One for you, but they are out there. It's an art.
I'm starting again with a new therapist and have a lot of expectations of her. I spoke with her on the phone for an hour before making an appt. Now the last bit of work to be done. I hope 

[Three Roses]

Welcome, Coolzville, we're glad you've joined! 

[meursault]

Welcome, Coolzville!

I like the idea of going slow, and would, but my life is a terrible emergency, I'm afraid.  For all I know, I could be going to jail for the rest of my life in a couple of months.

Radical, I have no idea.  Probably sounds like elevator music!

Sanmagic, I've been purposefully sending my email to the general contact email of the business, and addressing it to him and an "et al."  He is the founder/owner of the place, though.  One of them, at least, from my understanding.  I wouldn't doubt he's deleting them so no one else sees them.

I'm kind of having some problems with these therapists.  What's so bad about me I don't deserve to be treated better?  Sorts of things like that.  That last email-therapist has many quotes from other clients on her website about how open and honest she is, yet she was anything but that with me.  The EMDR guy is out of a place specializing in c-PTSD and PTSD.  The website talks about a careful and thorough assessment and tailoring a personal plan for each client.  Common sense (and common decency) alone should have sufficed to be treated better, but with professional training and experience, it really hurts me like I'm being singled out because they think there's something about me that makes me deserve to be treated like crap.  Retriggered my thinking from when I was little, I guess.

Meursault

[meursault]

I'm really sorry about screwing up.

Meursault

[sanmagic7]

i'm sorry i screwed up, too.

bummer that he is the company, so to speak.  no supervisors over his head.  no wonder he has been able to do what he's done without any accountability. 

this isn't on you, meursault.  i've had several neg. experiences with therapists, those having varying levels of credentials.  it's on them.  we've just happened to be in their way and were rolled over by them.  who knows what they've done to others!  (actually, i do know some of what that awful woman did to some of her other clients.  one actually brought a lawsuit of negligence against her - she deserved it.  he was physically injured while in her care - and she decided to declare bankruptcy in order to get out of it.  that's just one example).   all we can do is know that as clients, it's not us, not our fault, and we have no blame, shame, or guilt to carry in the matter.   you've been very strong on this front, and i think you've done really well.

horrible that you have the chance of jail time hanging over your head.  i hope that doesn't happen.  in the meantime, steady on with your therapist of gold.   you've done a remarkable job of moving forward, one step at a time.  hangin' right beside you.