Journaling

[Quiet]

So, I reaally have trouble with journaling.  I feel really self-conscious about everything I write, if I manage to write anything useful at all.  Mostly when I try to write about my feelings I want to rip up the page and throw it around before I even start.

I know the self-consciousness comes from the inner critic, who has a very loud voice.  But I really don't know how to work around this. 

As you can guess, I have a lot of anger, and 95% is directed at myself.  Does anyone have alternative techniques, other than journaling?

[Dee]

Drawing or other forms of art work well.  You can even get your feelings out with color on paper and no actual drawing.  I draw.  I know my drawings are not good but my therapist doesn't mind.  Making a collage can also help if you have or can find old magazines to cut from.  I was having trouble once writing words so I cut some out that conveyed what I couldn't write.

[Three Roses]

Doing something physical helps me with my anger. Gardening, walking, vigorous housework etc.

I've done art, music, the collages that Dee mentions. They've all helped.

[Quiet]

I'm sorry.  I didn't really give enough information.  Art is very difficult for me - I hate working with my uncooperative hands.  And I'm starting to wonder if there's a trigger, there, for me, going back to an incident in my FOO when I was very young.

I'm good at hiking and walking, though.  Maybe more time in nature is in order.

[Blueberry]

TRIGGER WARNING
I used to have a lot of trouble with my hands too. They're the things that do my SI after all, for which I need no other tools.

I have heard of other people doing something in art therapy or occupational therapy and consistently wanting to destroy it immediately after. Or maybe before they even start. It has occasionally happened to me but not for a good while though.

I used to tend towards SI rather than doing anything with my hands. I didn't always do the SI but that was my impulse.

End TRigger Warning

An alternative could be hitting a mattress and/or yelling, if you are somewhere where you can do that. I've found it helpful to do that with support. Just somebody there and internally rooting for me, instead of me alone.

I actually solved some of the problem I had with my hands through occupational therapy.

[Quiet]

Interesting.  Thank you very much - I need to go learn how these things work.