Aphrodite Matsakis and Trauma

[Ren]

I am much impressed with Matsakis' work.  "Trust After Trauma" is my current read and she certainly covers some ground.  I have just finished "I Can't Get Over it" also by her.  Knowledge is power for me and I am getting a lot from these readings.

I have found that my "secondary wounding" or discounting of my experience by so-called "friends" has been a very painful period.  It drove me to become an "exile" (a topic she covers well) because I lost faith in my ability to choose good people - I thought I had a repeating compulsion on that one.  Not so, it seems that my declaration about NPD mother and my family dramas was pressing buttons for people they didn't want to hear lest it bring up their own stuff.

And she mentions other things like people's need to be in control of their lives so they will often blame the victim (a real biggie!) so that they can take the randomness of human experience out of their minds.  There is much more to cover but I can thoroughly recommend this book if you have ever had that "secondary wounding"  - a resurfacing of the rejection, abandonment and vulnerability of the unkindness of others.   Those "triggers" I have had.

I have to say reading such material has been helpful beyond my expectations.