Any advice on positive affirmations?

[Smoke]

Hi everyone!

I got the idea from the spartan life coach to do positive affirmations though I find it hard to get the words right.
The advice was to appeal to your emotions in the present by writing: "I feel.."
But because we have that inner critic who will protest it would be a good idea to kind of twist the words like a politician, maybe write: "I aim to feel XX in the near future in order to stay calm and assertive"

And when the affirmation is written one can repeat the words whilst inducing oneself in a trance like state such as meditation.

I think that's what he said anyway, he was talking about a lot of other things as well so it was a bit unclear to me.
Now English is not my primary language but he suggested that we could write the affirmation in another language that we know and maybe say the words with different funny voices since humour will help the message to sink in.

So I wonder if you have any good suggestions on what to write?

[Three Roses]

I am strong
I am confident
I am compassionate...

In an affirmation, you are declaring what is good and true about yourself. Some will take a quality they already have, and affirm that; others will focus on a quality they want to develop, and declare it is true now.

Courageous, brave, tough, forgiving, loyal, supportive.... Let us know what you come up with!

[Smoke]

I see
I think I'd rather focus on the things I'd like to develop.

I have a clear and focused mind
I feel calm and curious about life
I will remain calm even if people around me aren't.
I take care of myself, I eat enough and stay positive...

Gosh.. so many emotions going on right now!

[Three Roses]

 

[papillon]

Food for thought, he recommends in one of his videos to use a round-about way of phrasing affirmations.

Like, "I can see how someone might view me as enjoyable to be around sometimes" instead of "I am fun."

If I remember correctly, the idea is to trick the subconscious into accepting what it believes to be false. To sneak in the "back door" before your inner critic shuts it all down.

[Three Roses]

Oh, that's good! 

[papillon]

I can see how affirmations could be helpful.

Right now I feel like I have to struggle to even come up with something to create an affirmation around. When I start thinking about it my inner critic has a field day.

My therapist has had me say "I am a kind and loving person". It was helpful to have the words assigned to me instead of having to come up with it on my own. The inner critic screams "LIES. ALL LIES. DON'T BELIEVE IT". But she said, "I know you. You are kind and loving. I wouldn't ask you to say something untrue." It helped to have her validation and affirmation. It gave me the confidence to do the exercise... which I could probably use a refresher on 

[sweetsixty]

Hi Smoke and others on this thread,

Just some other thoughts on this, often being positive just sucks because if you can't achieve it you feel as though you are a failure again.

My T got me to write some flash cards, just cut up some small pieces of thin cardboard to write  on, we went for about 10 to start with, and for a long time I carried them around with me and read them regularly until I could remember them without looking. 
I still continue to get them out every morning and every evening 18months on from creating them. Keeping them in a drawer beside my bed makes this easier. It's easy to do when your not trying to remember them.

We did this at least three times during my therapy as my needs changes. But the affirmations were positive things about me and helped me deal with the past without making me feel like a failure as there was nothing to achieve.

Just a little example of the things on my first set of cards:

This is not my shame it belongs to the people who did this to me.
I am a good enough Mother
I am a loving wife
I am enough as I am
My body has supported me through a lot
I've broken patterns of the past
I am a normal mother

See all of this must be very personal and written by you for you,  but the positive stuff just didn't work for me as I felt like a failure if I couldn't achieve it and setting goals is even harder to do when your trying to limp your way through a very difficult journey.

Well it's a different perspective at least, I'm sure there's a book out there somewhere I've seen about how being positive all the time is rubbish lol!

[Danaus plexippus]

You will have a lot or reading to do right here at Out of the Storm if you go to the search option and enter Positive Affirmations. It's a matter of washing the crap out of your brain. All our lives external forces try to brainwash us into thinking bad things about ourselves. I tell my inner critic to "SHUT UP AND GO F YOURSELF!" Its a good thing to keep a Gold Star Journal. Every time you succeed at something or someone shows you appreciation, record it in your GSJ. Be diligent and disciplined about recording all good things. Include things you are grateful for and any kindness you are shown. Mostly we dump all our bad crap here where it's virtual and can be deleted. Keep a hard copy of the good stuff handy where you can access it without a password and go to it every time the inner critic dares to should on you.