My Re Association Tactics

[Elizabeth Jack]

So, I have done some things to help dampen specific triggers.  I know we don't all have the same triggers, but i thought that I could share some practical things that I've done... re association therapy, I guess it what you could call it. 

The sound of doors opening, and closing, was a trigger for me.  So, there are bells on all the doors of rooms in our house where I am usually in.  My office, bedroom, and the front door, all have bells. 

Board Games.  This took a lot of work, because I was forced to play board games, and in an effort to not be noticed, lost on purpose.  So, I played games with people who weren't unhealthy.  I played simple games at first, and none of the ones I grew up with.  My husband is the best loser in the world, and that gave me a lot of safety, and confidence.  I'm a formidable opponent now in some complicated games.  But, if people talk a lot of crap about beating me, my confidence will be shot, and I won't have fun.  But, I don't play with people like that if I can help it, and the local table top gaming community is generally full of nice people. 

Video Games.  This was even harder than board games.  But again, my husband isn't a sore loser, and we generally play by ourselves, or in a team.  He happily will take on more difficult enemies for me in Skyrim.  But I don't let the creepy atmospheric music play, stop when I get anxious, and don't play too close to bed time if I am alone.  But I feel a game like Skyrim is therapeutic for me.  It pushes my hyper awareness a little, without being triggering.  Also helps, that I play a heavily armored cat person, so I can disconnect from my character a little bit. 

Housework.  I had a panic attack once trying to clean the stove.  Yep.  It's almost funny.  So, I can actually clean my house now.  Took a lot of practice, and a lot of times our house was not so great.  But, my husband was very kind, and did things that I absolutely couldn't (like clean the stove) until I was able to.  Having the freedom, to control my environment has been a huge help, and I can say now, our home is a lovely, peaceful place.   You wouldn't imagine I was raised by lazy hoarder child abusing narcissists. 

I still can't stand for the end credits of a movie to play, but I'm working on it.  Any practical tactics you guys have done to help with coping, or therapy? 

     

[MidnightOwl]

Re-Association, I love that term, hadn't heard it before.

Great post Elizabeth, I think these are excellent points to address. It's a challenge to ID triggers then find ways to lessen their impact.

For me, I am majorly triggered by eating a meal at a dinner table. Even going out to dinner with friends can, but not always, trigger me. So I refused to eat dinner at the table and usually would find ways to eat alone (even though I am married). When I realized I had this trigger, I looked for options to change the tactile sensation of eating at a table. I threw out my old table (which, was originally my parents...not good to keep these things) and bought a counter height table with chairs. It feels very different to sit at and I find I use it more now then I ever had. My husband and I started eating breakfast together and I'm not even triggered.

There are some triggers I haven't learned to deal with yet, like going to Target or grocery shopping. Super overwhelming and anxiety provoking for me. I basically remember to breathe and stay in my body but it's not something I enjoy at all.

Curious to see what input others have

[Elizabeth Jack]

That is awesome about the table!  Thank you for sharing.   

Sorry about shopping.  Shopping was always a rare, happy moment for me.  Sometimes though, I feel panicked going home.  I like being able to say, "No, I don't want to go home yet."