World Eating Disorder Action Day and CPTSD

[Daughter of Light]

I am not entirely sure if this is the correct place to post this, but I wanted to open a discussion about eating disorders in relation to CPTSD.

Today is the first ever World Eating Disorder Action Day and I believe it is so important to end stigma surrounding any mental illness, but EDS are often over looked.

I was wondering if any one else here is participating today by sharing truths and key messages about eating disorders. I have struggled with Anorexia Nervosa since I was 14 and now know that was related to shame from sexual abuse, as well as the pressure to be a sexual object in our society. I didn't put a name to my ED for almost 10 years because I never looked sickly and was afraid of being mocked by my family.

Is anyone here also recovering from an ED? What has that been like for you?  What is the worst thing someone could  say or has said to you regarding your ED?

~Daughter of Light~

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi daughter of light ( lovely name
I developed binge eating disorder from a young age - it filled that gap of void between myself and my mother and I continued to use it until I got into recovery these past few yrs --
It's been a painful journey and I used the food until the bitter end ...
I can see now that the disorder was a coping mechanism and masked my emotions and coping abilities. The amounts I consumed increased over time until it was totally out of control .. Making me ill on all levels
I started Oa 12 step programme and did get 'some relief' since last year I started working a Fa programme foodaddictsinrecovery.org and have full abstinence and a way to work on my mental/ emotional and spiritual growth - i have found the programme and the support I give and receive from others invaluable ... Wouldn't like to think where I'd be without it
Re
Quote - What is the worse thing someone could say or has said to you regarding your eating disorder ?
Um I can't think anyone has said anything terrible but many don't understand - when I say I'm in recovery for food addiction I explain the things I don't eat as I'm out of control with them
If I say I have binge eating disorder and someone asks questions to get a better understanding of it I do feel some embarrassment if I say 'I eat a carrier bag of stuff and more '
The worse thing would be if someone said 'you could have stopped it earlier or said it was just greed'
Eating disorder is an illness and my experience is it over takes ones life. I never had the power to beat it and I need a whole fellowship of people from all around the world to help me stay abstinent one day at a time. I'm 6 yrs clean and sober and my defence with the eating requires me to take a lot more action and to be much more vigilant in order I do not relapse ...
The void I now work to fill with spiritual things - people and attempting to function in society - recovery as we know in cptsd is  a daily journey and we need all the support we can get
Thank you for posting daughter of light and on such an honest and personal subject

[Daughter of Light]

Boatsetsailrose, thank you for sharing your personal story. I'm so sorry to hear that you've struggled with binge eating. When I was with my abusive ex boyfriend, I started binge eating (like I did as a child to cope with the sexual abuse) but my metabolism isn't what it was so I put on quite a bit of weight. This triggered my anorexia when he started body shaming me relentlessly.

I am so glad to hear that you have the support that you do and that it's helping. Self-compassion and spiritual growth are my main focuses right now too. Honestly, I just had a big EF this morning and it is so hard to know how to cope with that (especially when I can't place where they are coming from). I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay, it's apart of my healing journey, that I didn't do anything wrong and that I deserve love, support and care (including healthy food choices).

I just want to say I am so proud of you for being clean and sober! It takes a lot of courage to admit you need that kind of support. Sometimes all we can do is one day at a time. But it is enough. We are enough! I hope your day is amazing and if it's not, I hope it gets better.

Take care,

~Daughter of Light~

[Boatsetsailrose]

Quote ' a big EF and its so hard to know how to cope with that'
I hear you daughter of light I really do ...
The mind wants to make sense of it and i experience the same 'where is it coming from '
Self compassion is an area I feel I am just starting out on ..
My outer life at the moment is causing me such despair ( and adds to the inner stress ...
All I keep coming to is my spiritual life and compassion for myself - it feels all
I have - I feel lonely in my life and just can't see a way ahead when I look at logistics but I know and have been shown there is --
Ultimately it is my coping that has taken a big decline ( after coming off anti dep and now back on them ) I'm doing doggy paddle and just about coming up for air ...
I have just purchased a book 'the body keeps the score ' I would highly recommend it ..
Blessings to you daughter of light xx