Diagnosed with C-PTSD

[BigBoots]

I just wanted to say hello to all on here and explain a little bit about me.

After twelve years of suffering from extreme stress and prolonged physical and mental abuse I have have been diagnosed with something called C-PTSD.  I know very little about this condition or the numb empty feelings I now experience. My speciallist say now to think of it as starting a 'new you' but i dont want a new me, i just want to be as I used to be.  It doesnt matter what im doing i can have flashbacks and really bad reminders of what has happened and I just freeze.  When i sleep it is the same.  Emotionally now i dont really feel anything any more,  Just numb, empty inside and totally exhausted.  It is Like being on a live wire, constantly jumping at the slightest thing.

It is really not like me to feel this way, and so i have joined this group in order to find out more and chat with others who have this debilitating illness.

John

[arpy1]

welcome to the forum, BigBoots. sounds like you've been through * and back, as so many of us here can relate to.  somehow we have survived. now it's time to rest, take time out for you, and begin the long road to recovery. hope you will find a bit of support here, and info etc to help you. 

the book we all go on about, as you'll probably have noticed if you have trawled the site, is Pete Walker's CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving  really recommend this one as it is very easy to dip into and take in small chunks. if you're anything like me even the slightest thing can trigger flashbacks, so the format is ideal.

all i can say is try not to worry about the numbness - you sound exhausted and rest might be the first job! recovery doesn't happen quick but at least we have got each other for support. that's vital.

nice to have you aboard 

[BigBoots]

Thank you arpy1

Its nice to hear a genuine welcome.   Its a feeling which I had kinda forgotten