Hi there.

[Imarni]

Hi, I have only been diagnosed with this condition this year, it certainly explains a lot!
I have just taken one of my perpetrators to court won the first time, lost the second, it destroyed me and I did not fair well won't go into details here.  It so was not worth it, brought up to many triggers I had hoped they would apologise and I could move on but not to be.

I am now seriously underweight, have lost the last 2 years in stress, it's time to get my life back and start my business up again once I gain some strength any tips? I am also looking aft a young family, hubby is supportive but shell shocked he had to put a defib machine on me and perform mouth to mouth I am slowly finding this out and we also have to deal many comments it wasn't low profile. We of course are devastated the person has gotten away with the historical abuse and would be gloating.

[C.]

Welcome to this community Immarni. 

I am sorry for your terrible experience and that the justice system did not provide you with the justice that you deserve.  It is encouraging to hear that you have supportive people in your life, goals, and are reaching out here. 

I developed "full blown" cPTSD about 4 years ago.  I discovered Pete Walker's book a little over a year ago.  I joined OOTS about one year ago and it has helped me a lot.  This journey of recovery for me has been both painful, inspirational and empowering.  I found pain where I didn't know it existed.  And healing too.  I trust that you will find what you need here as well. 

I am very happy to know that you've found OOTS and your own path of recovery.  I wish you the best on this journey together.

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi Imarni 

Welcome to Out of the Storm. Quite a history you have had with going to court and having to witness your victory-at-first getting overruled thereafter. That must have been a devastating experience. I can relate.
You did stand up and fought, which is commendable thing to do. Alas it has brought you further grief. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 

I had hoped they would apologise and I could move on but not to be.

It may sound trite, but you can move on without the apologies that the perpetrator most likely will never make. It's harder for you this way, a genuine apology could have made things easier and smoother. But you are not dependent on their (in)action to move on.

it's time to get my life back and start my business up again once I gain some strength any tips?

I don't have any solid tips for you. I, like many other members of this community, can relate to this struggle of getting our own lives back. It takes effort and diligence. Many stories on this forum are testament to our efforts in this. The Recovery from cPTSD-section may be a good one to visit, especially the success/progress and the frustrated/setbacks sub-fora.
It's a bumpy road for all of us, after all.
I hope and wish you'll find some inspiration and tools there for 'moving on', and some comfort if you encounter a setback.


At OOTS, we welcome members who are dealing with CPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us.

In the CPTSD Glossary you may find a lot the may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On CPTSD
On Boundaries
One that has been of great value to me personally is: Learned Helplessness

And last but not least: Guidelines for All Members and Guests

Welcome again, I hope and wish this place and community will give you comfort and be of aid on your journey through cPTSD,

Dutch Uncle.