Seeking Support after Extreme Isolation

[Seeking to survive]

Hi!

I'm looking to develop a support system after being in isolation in a toxic relationship with my son's father. I left over 8 months ago and am living with my parents; however, I do not have support. I'm hoping this community, as well as, seeking in person support will help me heal. I've done what I'm able to do alone. I'm at the point where I need connection to others to heal.

It's been difficult trying to even figure out my situation or who to reach out to for support. It was like I was brainwashed against reaching out for help or even expressing my feelings. I hope this community can help me get out of isolation.

Thank you!!

[TheBigBlue]

Hi, welcome Seeking to Survive

I'm really glad you found your way here. What you describe - i.e. leaving a toxic situation and realizing you can't heal in isolation anymore - makes a lot of sense, and you're not alone in that.

Reaching out after being cut off or "trained" not to ask for help can be incredibly hard. I hope this community can be one place where you feel less alone while you build the support you deserve, at your own pace. Sending you support.

[NarcKiddo]

 

Welcome.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm Seeking to Survive 

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so isolated. I think it's good that you are reaching out here because even though we are anonymous and virtual, I find there's a feeling of being connected to a large community. I like that members here really understand what it feels like to struggle with CPTSD and share their own experiences and suggestions about what worked or did not for them. And there is a lot of caring support which it sounds like you really need right now.  

[Blueberry]

It was like I was brainwashed against reaching out for help or even expressing my feelings.

That's what I felt growing up in my FOO.

Welcome to the forum
I hope this can become a supportive place for you where you can make further steps out of isolation. Baby steps count when healing from cptsd! So even if you just read posts and don't respond for a while, you're making steps out of that isolation.

[Seeking to survive]

I appreciate those who have reached out from my original intro post. I am struggling to figure out how to use this platform to reach out for assistance or just to connect. It feels like there are a lot of rules on what you can and cannot do and it is triggering me a little bit. I keep feeling like I need to post perfectly to be allowed to post. Which I know is part of my own trauma.

Does anyone have some suggestions on how to proceed? There is a lot of information on this platform and I get information overload and do not know where to go. I could not even figure out where else to post to versus just read others posts. This appears to be a wonderful resource, I'm just struggling to figure out how to use it without stepping wrong.

Thank you 

[TheBigBlue]

Hi Seeking to Survive,

I'm really glad you said this out loud. What you're describing makes a lot of sense, especially if you're coming out of an environment where getting things "wrong" had consequences. It's very common for trauma to show up as "I have to do this perfectly or I won't be allowed here."

The good news is: you really can't step wrong here in the way your nervous system might be telling you. There aren't hidden traps. Most people just post where they are and others gently help if something needs redirecting.

If it helps, you could e.g.:
- Start by replying to one or two posts that resonate with you, even just a sentence like "I relate to this."
- Or start a simple thread in a general section with a title like "New and figuring this out."

You don't have to tell your story at once. You don't have to post perfectly. And it's also completely okay to just read for a while. Many people do that at first.

Akso information overload is real, I have been there, especially when you're already dysregulated. You don't have to understand the whole platform. Just one small interaction at a time is enough.

You're not doing this wrong. You're learning something new while your nervous system is on high alert. That's not failure, that's courage.

[Blueberry]

To add to what TheBigBlue wrote, if you like and it helps you can keep posting on this thread for a while.

My trauma makes me terrified of making a mistake too, but I've been on this forum so long that I'm no longer triggered or worried here. Compared to other forums, this one is very gentle and compassionate so even if you put a post in a slightly wrong place, it would be moved, you would be notified by Kizzie but you wouldn't be banned or 'scolded' or anything like that.

A lot of the rules and guidelines are about keeping members feeling safe on the forum. I'm sorry they make you feel a little triggered.