David Bedrick - The Unshaming Way: A 3-Part Model for Dismantling Shame

[SenseOrgan]

David Bedrick - The Unshaming Way: A 3-Part Model for Dismantling Shame - Integrate Trauma, Unlearn Self-Blame, and Reclaim Your Personal Power

For readers of Brené Brown, Curt Thompson, and Tara Brach. We're sold the idea that shame serves a purpose: it must protect us from something...otherwise it wouldn't be there. Right?

Not really. In Unshamed, author, mental health expert, and professor David Bedrick reveals that there really is no good "use" for shame—and offers a revolutionary model to dismantle it. He shows how shame affects us all...and often in ways we might not expect. Shame connects to our struggles, our relationships, how we show up in the world, and how the world shows up (or fails to) for us. So how we can shed our shame, integrate our trauma, and unleash the personal power, efficacy, and confidence that are our birthright? Bedrick breaks it down in three parts:

Respect: how the practice of witnessing can help us be fully seen, heard, and held—and what that can do for our self-power and self-esteem
Relating: how to restore our sense of mattering—especially when our hurt, neglect, or trauma shows up as shame
Radical belief: how we can reclaim our voice, experiences, and embodied truths by owning our authority, autonomy, and authentic needs without projecting our shame and trauma onto others

Bedrick explores the roots of shame, sharing the connections between trauma, shame, and experiential validation—and explains how shame shows up when woundedness isn't seen, held, and appreciated by ourselves and our loved ones.

He helps us understand the role of boundaries in healing from shame; how shame impacts our physical health and wellness; how to unshame disturbing feelings; and the interconnections among body, social issues, shame, and abuse. With exercises, profound insights, case studies, and psychological science, Unshamed is an easy-to-understand guide to breaking shame down for good.
source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209194384-the-unshaming-way


You can't truly understand trauma, without  understanding shame. Unshaming is the essence of trauma healing. Most of us are, consciously, or unconsciously, imprisoned by shame. What is Unshaming? When you Unshame, you stop viewing the things you're ashamed of as broken parts of yourself that need to be fixed or healed. You integrate the deep meaning behind your difficulties, as if they are invitations to embrace your wholeness and doorways to your shadow's gold. The result is a life liberated from judgment, connected to your inner intelligence, and attuned to a profound sense of wellness. A life where you understand what your next steps should be, as you begin to walk a path that is aligned with your soul purpose and the unique medicine you are here to share with the world.
source: https://www.davidbedrick.com/

[TheBigBlue]

Reading this, I feel it in my body - silent tears running down my face, not from pain alone, but from recognition. Thank you for sharing this.

[Desert Flower]

Thank you SenseOrgan. 

[Kizzie]

Thanks for this SO, it's such a big part of our trauma landscape that any help ridding ourselves of it is a positive move in recovery.

One thing that has helped me deal with shame is first identifying it (it can run quite deeply in the soul), and then figuring out why I feel it. In my case (and I'm sure most others survivors) a lot of shame came as a form of control by those abused me. If I felt shame then I was more vulnerable and open to manipulation and abuse.

Thus, saying "No" to shame I didn't earn or deserve was pivotal. I think this falls under "radical beliefs" ("reclaim our voice, experiences, and embodied truths by owning our authority, autonomy, and authentic needs") and embracing my true self. 

I must say I love the word "deshaming"!

[Hope67]

Thank you SenseOrgan, I was impressed by everything written here and also the reviews I saw on Amazon, plus the fact it was on a special price at the moment, so I actually ordered it!  I am looking forward to reading it - although I have a line-up of books I need to get through, and feel like I don't have sufficient time (but I am going to pace myself!!!)

[SenseOrgan]

TheBigBlue
This resonates, doesn't it? I haven't read the book myself yet, but I rushed to share it here. I think Bedrick really gets it. I'm both sorry and happy that his angle hits home for you.

Desert Flower
 

Kizzie
Thank you very much for sharing your lived experience. This is very insightful and empowering!

Hope67
I know what you mean! I'm reading three books and I'm binging several podcasts. The Unshaming Way is going to go very high on my to read list though!