Psychosis as a result of trauma

[Teddy bear]

Hi everyone,

As I could see in the search results here, the topic of psychosis was already touched on this forum.

Also a well-known fact that psychosis can accompany trauma (c/PTSD with psychotic features).
But among the psychiatrists normally is a conservative viewpoint - psychosis -> schizophrenia -> life long medication with neuroleptics.

What is your experience, if you also had psychotic episodes, are you still on any medication or could taper it off and stop it?

My experience is a few attempts to taper aripiprazole (abilify) off and I couldn't get off, psychotic episodes happened as a result.

I understand that this forum is not about neuroleptics tapering, but probably general experience about it is ok to discuss.

Also psychosis was the most difficult and severe of symptoms I ever had, still looking for a solution (though probably it is also an endogenous disorder as well, as I understand it's almost impossible to find out - no tests, no ways to determine it currently. While I had a genetic test, and the result was like for healthy individuals, and only around 30% risk of depression for all mental health disorders)

Thank you

[Kizzie]

Hey Teddy Bear, not to worry about asking for feedback about experiences of psychosis and neuroleptics. As I mentioned in my response to another of your posts, psychosis can be comorbid with CPTSD, so it makes sense to ask about it here.

I'm afraid I haven't had any instances of psychosis, but I just want to let you know it's OK to ask.

[Teddy bear]

Hey Kizzie, thanks for your clarification 🤝

Also I am searching now for a trauma-informed  psychiatrist/psychotherapist, if someone can recommend a specialist dealing with psychosis, tapering and cPTSD, I would be very grateful.
(My budget is quite restricted now.)

[Kizzie]

Unfortunately TB, as we are an international site we aren't able to pass along much in the way of info about individual T's. We do have databases where you can search for a T who specializes in one thing or another here - https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=881.0. If you do find T's in your area there is info about how much they charge or whether they will use a sliding scale based on your income.

The other thing that works well is simply to use Google to search for your location.

Good luck!

[Chart]

Hey Teddy Bear, I was in a relationship with a woman about eight years ago who suffered from auditory hallucinations. I knew a enough about her childhood to understand that her pathology was certainly related to her childhood. But at the time I didn't know about Cptsd, nor the impact of developmental trauma, even for myself. Looking back, the relationship was very functional on many levels because we both needed the same levels of security, mainly through avoidance, and we functioned very well together. But the problems slowly became apparent as she became unbalanced with the things she was experiencing, and I had zero comprehension about what she was experiencing. At first I tried gently trying to "show" that her experiences weren't actually manifesting in reality. But she refused this and just kept repeating that she knew that she wasn't crazy, therefore it had to be me and others around her who were in a  kind of conspiracy against her. Eventually I couldn't handle the situation anymore and broke with her. We're still in distant contact, but I know that I will have an uphill struggle communicating with her regarding what I've learned in the past few years

I'm not sure what exactly I want to respond to you, Teddy Bear. I haven't experienced the symptoms of which you refer. I can imagine however, a little, how difficult it must be. But I also think that you seem far and above aware of your condition and situation, and that that in itself is a VERY positive sign. It's incredibly hard what you are facing, but you are facing it.

I, like a lot of people, feel that I am doing the main part of my healing and therapeutic work on my own. I have a therapist (emdr trained), but, not to be rude, she is completely ignorant of Cptsd and hasn't a real clue of the true impact of developmental trauma and it's aftermath. I recently joked that I could replace this current therapist with a metronome with two fingers added to the point (like the classic Emdr movement done by Emdr therapists). I hope that doesn't sound egotistical, but honestly, it's true. Though I do believe there are good/better therapists out there, I just know from direct and second-hand experience that they are rare.

So in many ways, I'm a lone cowboy out in the Trauma hills, exploring the cliffs and valleys of my pathologies. The single greatest help and influence are the experiences I read here on the forum, and the knowledge of what has been shared in terms of techniques and ideas. After I learn about something, I slowly begin exploring that thing on my own. I have also used direct contact with Forum members via the Zoom group I am in to further share and discuss. I go slow, I am not nearly as energetic as I would like, but I forgive my frequent "laziness". Being so far down in a hole for so long in my life, I know that pulling myself up and out is going to take a long long time, years in not decades. And I don't believe I will ever entirely "break free" of the pain that floods my nervous system on a frequent basis. I just want to move more and more towards a state of equilibrium. Already, that would be/and is, great. I have made solid progress in the past two years.

Sorry for the long response not saying much, especially about psychosis. I want to encourage, but stay realistic and true to what I've experienced.

Sending support and hugs (if that's okay)