the next step

[NarcKiddo]

I think it is good to recognise how much grief there is. It's easy to overlook if one has not had a traditional bereavement to pin it on. I am realising right now that I have a lot of grief to process, too. I guess it goes with the territory.

 

[sanmagic7]

ooops, lost my page.

armee, thanks so much for the phrase 'without disabling' me.  i didn't have those words before, but yes, that's exactly what happens when i have/expel such strong emotions/feelings.  i do become disabled, just never thought of that term before.  it would be nice to find someone who will take that seriously when i tell them about it.  slower/smaller really is better for me. 

hannah1, thank you for that validation.  i do believe it affects all those little goodies we have inside, down to the cellular level.  whew!  that's a lot! 

NK, i agree, now that you mention it, that it is very easy to overlook if we aren't at a funeral, something tangible, that we have losses to grieve.  i like your comparison.  thanks so much for that. 

in a few hours a chat w/ a new T.  i have a good feeling about her.  and next Mon., a whole session w/ another one.  we'll see how it goes, 2 down, 2 out so far.  as my D was reading a list of candidates she'd found, one mentioned she was trained in EMDR Level 1.  i had to immediately nix her off our list.  there are 2 levels of EMDR basic training, (i've gone thru both of them), and for someone w/ complex trauma, i don't think Level 1 is enough experience and knowledge to deal with dissociation, DID, the complexities that come w/ my alexithymia. 

so, i've been culling the herd in this manner as well.  i'm watching out for 'parts' people, too.  maybe someday, but not now.  i think the one on mon. is big on attachment theory, and i can go along w/ that, except for the experience i had w/ the first T i contacted, where he was trying to guess and label my attachment levels.  so, i don't know.  there's so much stuff out there that wasn't around or being looked at when i was in practice, such as c-ptsd itself, i guess i'll have to wait and see.  as always.