Has anyone experienced involuntary verbal self-soothing when alone?

[samereflection1001]

I've noticed something I feel embarrassed about, and I'm trying to understand it rather than judge it.

When I'm alone and very deep in thought usually replaying something embarrassing or painful. I sometimes say something out loud without intending to. This can be calling my husband's name, asking for a hug, or saying "don't leave me alone."

This has been happening for about 20 years or more. I tend to call out to whoever I'm living with or closest to at the time. It feels involuntary, and I don't have control over it in the moment. I'm not actually expecting a response from the other person it's more like something that happens until I come back to myself.

It doesn't happen in public, and I'm fully aware when it occurs. It feels automatic, almost like my body trying to interrupt emotional discomfort or rumination.

I grew up without consistent emotional support, and I wonder if this could be related to how my nervous system learned to self-soothe under stress.

A few years ago, a psychiatrist suggested this might be related to CPTSD and recommended starting with DBT for emotional regulation. Due to moving between countries, I haven't been able to follow through with consistent treatment yet.

I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, and what helped them understand or reduce it.

[NarcKiddo]

I've not experienced that but maybe others will be able to weigh in.

Given you only do in in private in the company of people who seem to be safe I do wonder whether you might think a little more about why you feel embarrassed and want to reduce it. I guess part of the answer may lie in how the other people have responded to this. On the face of things it seems like quite a helpful way of self-soothing. It also feels to me like maybe it is coming from a child place. The first thing I would try in such a situation if I wanted to stop the verbalising is to have something like a cuddly toy or soft blanket near to hand when thinking about difficult subjects. That might provide a level of comfort. If you are alone in the room and feel comfortable you might even try speaking softly to the toy, telling it your thoughts, since saying them quietly before you feel a need to call out might mean the calling is not necessary every time.

[Kizzie]

  I must say I like Narc Kiddo's suggestions if you feel comfortable giving them a try and your thoughts about why you may do so.    I had the thought as I was reading your post that it's positive that you do have a self-soothing voice because often members here talk about having a negative inner critic.