Ran's journey

[Chart]

Trauma brings so many of our behaviors to a unhealthy level, be it eating, sleeping, exercise, almost everything. There is always a healthy balance to strike. Trauma skews this equilibrium, so that the great majority of our behaviors are "beneficial" to being "safe" but detrimental to nearly everything else.

Trauma healing (imo) is the slow and methodical unraveling of all these aspects of ourselves that came about through mistreatment and abuse, restructuring them as they "should" have been in the first place.

It is a long long road.

But what becomes clear through wise and unending search of understanding... it is not the destination, but the journey...

Stay true, stay open, never stop evolving.

Love and support
 

[Ran]

I'm using this to vent a bit. I'm 34 and caregiver to my parents and sister and I'm dependent on them financially and for having a roof over my head. Most part they are accepting of me, but what hurts the most is that my dad brings up old topics how no university wants me, while I'm in my last year of university just on break. He's particularly bringing up medical school like only acceptable path. I did study nursing for a year, but the responsibility of it all not to mentioning not liking how the entire system is run was enough of making me not wanting to pursue it furter. It's astonishing how mean can the people in medical field be, when they should show emphaty. I'm pretty sure that my dad hurts me on purpose. I've told him countless times how these things hurt me and I've been vocal about feeling that no one cares and values me and instead they bring out what all I don't do, instead of admitting it.

[Ran]

Trauma brings so many of our behaviors to a unhealthy level, be it eating, sleeping, exercise, almost everything. There is always a healthy balance to strike. Trauma skews this equilibrium, so that the great majority of our behaviors are "beneficial" to being "safe" but detrimental to nearly everything else.

Trauma healing (imo) is the slow and methodical unraveling of all these aspects of ourselves that came about through mistreatment and abuse, restructuring them as they "should" have been in the first place.

It is a long long road.

But what becomes clear through wise and unending search of understanding... it is not the destination, but the journey...

Stay true, stay open, never stop evolving.

Love and support
 

Thank you. It is a journey and a painful journey, but I'm determined, though at times things feel hopeless, when my depressive episodes take over.