Hello 👋🏼

[LandedBird]

Hi all! Off the top, I'm not good at hello's, or goodbyes. So please bear with me as I say hello...

I'm so excited to be able to join this forum. I'm very old, so therefore appreciate this high-tech ability to communicate virtually! Well maybe not that old, depending on your perspective - 61 years old.

I have CPTSD and look forward to the new way of describing it as a reaction rather than my illness. This forum is the first time I've seen that option. How promising!  Imagine a world where mental illness is seen as a reaction to a problemed world, rather than mental illness being a big problem in the healthy world.  Maybe we are simply the symptom of a diseased world - the canaries in the mine? But there is still a lot of beauty in the world too, as there is still a lot of beauty in the mentally ill. 

I'm here because I have CPTSD developed from childhood trauma.  As a result, due to chronic dissociation from my body and medical illnesses as well as medical and psychiatric treatments, I can now barely stand or walk, as of 2-1/2 years ago.  This immobility has thrown me back into traumatic memories because my current situation is very, very reminiscent of my traumatic childhood.  I'd like to start there on this forum, by exploring those similarities, and work through them. 

I'd also love to be able to be here for others.  I've done a variety of therapies in the past, so I have wonderful tools that I'm using now to get through this terrible patch.  What I'm lacking is peer support.  I hope we're a good match here. 

Thank you for listening.

[SenseOrgan]

Welcome here LandedBird! 

I'm sorry you're dealing with immobility. It's not hard to imagine this is triggering traumatic memories (even without knowing their nature).

You're using language I can very much relate to. The current medical paradigm has done a lot of damage. The coining of the term "CPTSD" and the acknowledgment that it's an ongoing response to relational trauma is an important step away from our undeserved stigma. These are the most healthy responses we had at our disposal to survive unhealthy circumstances. The price we pay is a reminder of the severity of what we had to endure, not of our innate brokenness, badness, or sickness.

Enough about my views. I'm happy you can still see a lot of beauty in the world. You bring that here yourself, offering support to others and sharing from a vulnerable place. I think you'll feel right at home here.

Much love

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, and welcome. I'm glad you found us. We have all ages here but quite a lot of more mature folks (I'm a tad younger than you but only by 4 years). I think this may be because we are only now finding out more about CPTSD and realising it is a normal response to abnormal treatment. Like you, I find that helpful to know. Your suggestion that we may be the canaries in the mine resonates with me.

I'm sorry you're struggling with immobility issues. That is hard for anyone, let alone someone with a trauma history. I'm also sorry that your current situation is reminiscent of your childhood. However it is really good that you have recognised the similarities because that should help you untangle trauma reactions in response.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm Landed Bird!   

I am a 'tad' older than you at 69, and there are quite a few of us in this age range I  think because many of us didn't realize we had CPTSD until later in life.  When I started this web site and forum 11 years ago there wasn't much in terms of books or sites. Now happily there's lots more info and resources available.   

So sorry to hear about your mobility issues. I have arthritis in my ankle and back and if it weren't for cortisone shots I'd be less able to get around.  I know my time is coming though and I fear becoming less able to do things and more dependent on others.  It takes me back to my childhood when I was at the mercy of my parents and brother because I did not have power. So, I can relate to a degree and I hope there are others here who can relate and will provide you with support. (Not that I would wish physical limitations on anyone of course!)

On a final note, many of us here take the position that we are not mentally ill or disordered, but instead are injured, wounded at the hands of others and deserving of effective treatment, services and support like anyone who has healthcare needs.