Salutations

[Fennec]

Hi I'm fennec,


I'm fairly new to the diagnosis, roughly 6 months, and one week post going no contact with my FOO and I'm hoping to build community and my support system as I manage the after effects of my life so far. 
My brother was my first bully, my parents invalidated everything I ever tried to say about it, punishing me for speaking up and manipulating me into not telling anyone about how I was being treated and into thinking I was the problem and was just too sensitive.
In the last year I ended a deeply neglectful 10 year relationship that culminated in an excruciating 3 year attempt at very unhealthy polyamory. At this point I'm feeling a bit like a hermit crab that doesn't want to leave their safe shell but I'm trying to keep going and learn to manage the symptoms all of this left me with and the horrible self doubt and fear every time I try to talk about it.
I'm here in the hopes of finding some folks who get it and  having a space to talk about some of what I'm working through

[NarcKiddo]

Hello, and welcome. I'm glad you found us.

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum

[Dalloway]

Hi and welcome, Fennec. I´m sorry for what you´ve been through. It´s totally understandable that you don´t want to leave your safe shell. I´m also taking one small step at a time and trying to listen to my instincts to tell me if I need more patience or time with what I´m dealing with. My experience here is that people are very kind and understanding and can relate to me due to our similar experiences. I hope you can find that kind of connection, too. 

[trying2c]

Welcome Fennec,

I am so sorry for your long-lasting abuse in childhood and adulthood. I understand how you felt that you needed to wrap yourself into that little shell ~ to avoid more pain.

My life has been similar... You are in my thoughts. I hope that you find the support and ideas to help you find the right way for you to relieve your pain, and you can find that strength to risk coming out of your miserable shell.

[Kizzie]

Hi Fennec and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm 

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through and are struggling to deal with.  It makes sense to me you'd want to isolate, I think many or even most of us do so at one time or another. It just feels safe. Bravo though to you for wanting to move forward and I hope being here helps with that.