Autism or CPTSD?

[BlueMoon_]

For a while I have wondered if I might have autism, for a couple of reasons, but a big one is it seems so impossible how people can just interact with each other and make friends so easily. It seems like I'm from another planet from everyone in the socializing department.

I also have other things that make me question if I'm autistic, but I'm not sure if they are strong enough to say for sure they are from autism. For example disliking loud noises, fidgeting around a lot, and liking routine.

I'm not sure enough about having autism to go and get diagnosed, though.

However I have read that symptoms of CPTSD can be similar to autism.

Are any of you guys autistic or wondered if you were autistic before, but found out it was CPTSD instead? How did you find out the difference? Thanks!

[storyworld]

Hello!
I am not autistic but wanted to reply to say that I saw your post and understand how confusing this might be. I've read that CPTSD can mimic ADHD. Since autism (I've heard) is supposedly related (loosely?) to ASD, it seems like there could be some crossover.

[Kizzie]

I read up on this and found this one sentence kind of says it best: "Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder that presents in early childhood, whereas CPTSD is a mental health condition that emerges after exposure to complex trauma".

This is not to say you don't have autism though, the two can co-occur according to what I read.  Just Google something to the effect "Are autism and CPTSD the same thing?" and lots of info will pop up.

[sanmagic7]

hi, bluemoon,  i'm one of the lucky ones? to have c-ptsd and am also on the cusp of autism.  i can relate to your awkwardness in social interactions, feeling out of step, so to speak, with others, liking routine, including repetitive activities (i was the tetris queen in our household!), and am startled easily - altho i'm not sure if that's an autism or c-ptsd response.

i self-diagnosed w/ autism - i looked it up online - sorry, it's been a few years, and i can't give you a specific link - but i took the test twice, 6 mos. apart so as not to remember and simply repeat my answers.  once i was just on the border, and the second time i was one point on the autistic side of the border.

it explained a lot of my interactions w/ others throughout my life, while also dealing w/ dissociation, depersonalization, anxiety, sleep problems, intrusive thoughts and other symptoms of c-ptsd.  so, as far as i'm concerned, dealing with both (and alexithymia as well, which after researching that situation led me to check myself for autistic tendencies) at the same time is definitely a possibility.

best to you with all this.  it helped me to know.  i hope it helps you one way or the other.   

[Armee]

There's a book that might help:

Living with PTSD on the Autism Spectrum by Lisa Morgan, Mary Donahue: New Paperback (2020) | Rarewaves.com UK https://share.google/0zPbSit9tSAOVkPSq

When we've had symptoms of cptsd our whole lives and exposure to brain-altering trauma from a very young age, I don't know how you tease apart what is cpstd and what is autism and what is both.

There's an online psych testing platform for therapists you can sign up for an account and test yourself as a "dummy client." Novopsych.

There are at least 2 autism scale assessments. AQ and Ritvo. I score quite high on those for autism. I haven't been professionally assessed and won't be because i do not want a medical record of some of the other assessments i would score high on. I could be autistic but the things that drive my score high really are functions of trauma and cptsd. I'd suggest perhaps if you take the assessments, look at the questions that drove your scores high and think about if your answer is driven by something that is likely a trauma response or something more intrinsic. 

I think one thing that is helpful from the autism side of things is self-acceptance. Understanding that your difficulties are a form of neurodiversity and that you are OK just the way you are. We can apply that understanding to our experiences of cptsd symptoms too.

Sending you lots of support in figuring out what you would like to understand about yourself. 

[Saluki]

I can't tell if I'm autistic or if it's just CPTSD or both and I'm not sure if it matters.
The thing I don't know if I relate to or not is routine.

I can't cope at all with routines that are imposed by others, not at all. They fill me with a sense of dread and foreboding.

But I have my own routines. One recent example that really upset me was the NYT mini crossword puzzle being suddenly stuck behind a paywall. Then they did the same with two other puzzles.
They were part of my daily routine.
The fact that the way they lured me in by offering it for free then taking it away hoping people will pay to subscribe feels incredibly manipulative.
And I hate feeling manipulated.

So I was wondering, is my extreme emotional reaction to that very minor thing autism, or is it CPTSD, or are the NYT puzzle people just mean spirited? (or all three?)

[Kizzie]

I think most people will feel some irritation if something was free simply to lure you in and then start charging you, especially if they don't give you a warning (i.e., something like "Try our crossword free for 2 weeks then pay $$$/month). If you have a warning, then it's not being manipulated, you have choice and control. But when someone takes away our choice, especially as a survivor, we're bound to feel quite irritated/triggered because control was taken away from us by those who abused us. That could be either CPTSD or autism I suppose.

I worked in two jobs many years ago that were heavily micromanaged in terms of routine, etc. I ended up leaving within days in one job and a few months in the other. It was partly because who likes to be micromanaged, but due in large part to the feelings it triggered because of my CPTSD. I was very independent back then mainly because I didn't like feeling controlled by anyone - too much like my original family and the abuse I suffered.

In recent years I have been working on understanding what is actual loss of control/choice, and just the normal interdependence we all have and that's not going too badly. Like all symptoms of CPTSD I find it takes conscious recognition and trying out new ways of thinking about things. When it feels like someone is impinging on me I will set boundaries, but first I look at whether or not it is actually something I need a boundary for. It helps me manage life when I take a moment, take a breath and think things through.

Perhaps a way to tell if you're bothered due to autism or if it's CPTSD is to try what I've mentioned above. Is a change in routine by others something you can let go of if you pause, think about it and conclude it's not as big a deal as it first appears to be? Can you set a boundary when a routine does feels invasive, losing control/choice? (E.g., Saying something to the effect "I'm not comfortable with this.)? Perhaps if you try and still feel stuck maybe talking with a professional would help. 

Just some thoughts Saluki, hope something resonates     

[Blueberry]

So I was wondering, is my extreme emotional reaction to that very minor thing autism, or is it CPTSD, or are the NYT puzzle people just mean spirited? (or all three?)

I don't know much about autism, I don't think I have anything like that. What strikes me about your post is "very minor thing". Often what triggers me with my cptsd is what is seemingly a minor thing. I have discovered it is often just the tip of the iceberg, in other words there's a whole lot of other stuff going on underneath and possibly not just in me, sometimes in the other person too (things not spoken, things just assumed e.g.).

This minor seeming thing can be an old childhood hurt that I had to put away and put up with, never acknowledged by FOO, me never forgiven by FOO tho possibly I wasn't even at fault, they were instead. On the surface and rationally that may look minor, but it's not. I can't remember off-hand if you work with inner children or an inner child, but if you do, acknowledging this kind of thing with them can be quite healing. Not 100% I have found, but it reduces the triggering because the child you were is finally heard and acknowledged.

If that doesn't resonate at all, then that's fine.