Bad dissociation episode at work

[Forestmistheather]

Hey,

So I was at work today and dissociated SO badly.  Like I was scanning documents and I thought that the machine had eaten them!  Not just once - but twice!!  As it happened, I'd completely blanked the time out of me picking up the scanned in documents and putting them on the scanned pile (as I said, twice).  I mean I was so convinced I actually said to my colleagues that the machine had just eaten the paper, before realising how absurd that was and that I must have dissociated.  And now it's left me wondering just how often does something like that happen?  I mean I know I dissociate fairly regularly (like daily), but to this extent I was not aware.  I didn't think it was quite this bad anymore.  It's really got me worried.  I don't know how I can do my job or indeed most jobs when I dissociate like that just randomly.  Does anyone have any insight?  Thanks,

 

[Blueberry]

I'm sorry that happened and that you're beginning to notice how badly you sometimes dissociate

I dissociate a lot as well. But not always as badly or with as much problems as other times. It varies. I do understand your worries, though, like about work. I simply cannot work any more (not just because of the dissociation), but that's not ideal for a lot of reasons.

You can learn to manage it better though and/or as you process the trauma the amount of time you spend dissociated and the intensity of the dissociation can lessen. Maybe 'managing' it is not quite the word, but you may notice with time what can trigger your dissociation and then see if you can avoid it to some degree.

More own experience than insight, I guess.

[Forestmistheather]

Thanks Blueberry

[Kizzie]

I agree with Blueberry that as you start to notice when and why you dissociate you can gain some control over it. For example, do you know why you dissociated when you were scanning documents?  Where you thinking about something else that caused you distress or did it have to do with the task you were doing (maybe feeling like you weren't doing it right or something along those lines)?

In my case I started to catch myself starting to dissociate and then brought myself back so I can see what is making me fearful and consider whether I need to be afraid, what I can do about it, and so on. I actually don't dissociate much if at all anymore.

If you figure out what is causing it and whether you can move through the distress it gives you more control and power. There are lots of books available nowadays that help you to move away from dissociation to being present so you may want to try one. Also, if you have a therapist you can let them know and they most likely can help you with recognizing when you're dissociating and how to bring yourself back.

Just my thoughts of course but I hope they help!