Advice for My Escape?

[BlueMoon_]

I finish college next April. My parents are going to help me get a car, thank God, and they pay for my apartment until August next year. I plan to tell them that I'm moving, and ask them to let me take my dog, with promises to let them visit or whatever (I asked recently if I could take him home, in a sort of joking way, and they were like yeah go ahead , because they love to make fun of him so much and despise him for some reason.)

Then, I'm going to drive away to somewhere my family will never know and I'm going to block them all and never see or speak to them again.

They have slowly began to neglect my dog more and more since we got him.

They let his nails grow long, with the excuse that he's scared of having his nails cut, and now he barely walks around, I fear because of pain. They never bathe him because he doesn't like it as well, not thinking to maybe train him to accept it. They feed him food they know gives him diarrhea because 'he's always done that, so it's normal'. My mom also loves to overfeed him treats. Then, at night he will bark for treats, and my mom will either give him some, or my dad will yell at him, and I recently saw him pinch him on the muzzle in response.

Anyway, they treat him like *, and I need to get him out of there while he still has life left to live. I feel so guilty I haven't done it sooner. I feel guilty that I haven't tried harder to help him. But I have to do something now, even if it's risky.

Do you guys have any advice? I'm looking for roommates in the place I'm moving, looking for jobs, and saving money. I am planning to get my drivers license abstract to transfer my license to a new one for the place I'm moving to. Also gonna come home every weekend to train my dog and strengthen our bond.

[Kizzie]

One suggestion that came to mind regarding your dog is to book an appointment with the vet to find out what he needs to eat to stop the diarrhea. The vet or their tech can do trim his nails and clean his ears.  Then if you can afford it take him to a groomers to have him bathed. The he's ready to go when you do leave. When will you be moving?

Apart from your dog it is a big move you're planning to make in going no contact.  Do you think your parents will try and track you down? If so you'll need to change your email or block them, same for social media and telling mutual acquaintances and family members where you are. I'm sure there are other things you'll want to do - it may be best to Google for more info.

One final thing is to try and be prepared for the emotions that may come with this big change - perhaps a mixture of relief and sadness. You can always post here for support 

Good luck, I hope it goes well.   

[Blue_Jays]

Hi Blue Moon,

I had a veryy similar experience after graduating university awhile ago. I ended up rescuing my family dog from my step-dad's house, and moving in with my boyfriend, far away from my family. I totally get the guilt, I felt terrible about leaving my family dog in that situation for years. I needed some time to find a job/save/find a home where he could live. I will say, that the years that I had him were absolutely amazing. We had so much fun, and his life totally changed.

I think you are doing the right things,saving money, getting settled somewhere. Having some money saved really helps when having a dog. I agree with Kizzie about booking an appointment with the vet. In addition to addressing immediate concerns, I think an overall check-up would be really beneficial. Just so you know what you are getting into. My dog had some dental issues when I took him in that I was not aware of, and it did cause some immediate problems.

My family was extremely upset with me when I took the family dog... It was a challenge to navigate at the time. So make sure your parents know your intentions. I know my parents pretended to hate our dog, until I took him, then he was the most important member of the family.

Good luck!

[BlueMoon_]

One suggestion that came to mind regarding your dog is to book an appointment with the vet to find out what he needs to eat to stop the diarrhea. The vet or their tech can do trim his nails and clean his ears.  Then if you can afford it take him to a groomers to have him bathed. The he's ready to go when you do leave. When will you be moving? 

That's a good idea. My parents do take him to the vet to get his nails trimmed when they are super long, but they have to put him under a sedative 0-0 I'm for sure going to try to train him to accept nail trimming more, and I'm buying a dremel for his nails which hopefully he will like more than the normal clippers.

I'm planning to move either next april or later in the summer, still deciding, but for sure around next summer.

[BlueMoon_]

My family was extremely upset with me when I took the family dog... It was a challenge to navigate at the time

How did you end up taking him? Did you sneak him out?

[Blue_Jays]

I told everyone my plan. I showed up at the house and rushed him into the car and drove off while a bunch of people were yelling at me. No one knew where I lived at that point, so it was easy to keep my distance.

[BlueMoon_]

I told everyone my plan. I showed up at the house and rushed him into the car and drove off while a bunch of people were yelling at me. No one knew where I lived at that point, so it was easy to keep my distance.

Hi, sorry for this out of the blue, did your family try to find you, like call the police or anything? Thanks

[Blue_Jays]

No, they didn't. But that was always a possibility, they did threaten too call the cops a few times. I was pretty on edge about it for a few months.

I am not sure what your situation is, but my family was extremely violent.. but also apathetic, they sometimes lacked the energy to follow through on threats. It was usually just to scare. So it was a weird combination. It could have gone many different ways.