Hi

[BlueMoon_]

So I am undiagnosed with CPTSD, but I have been suspecting I might have it during the past year. I have more and more been questioning my upbringing. For a while I thought I had a pretty normal family life, but as more memories of my childhood emerge, unclear as they are, that perception is changing.

What I remember is few and far between, but I think growing up my mom overreacted to a lot of stuff (I suspect she has BPD) and my dad wasn't emotionally available, but loved being able to explain stuff to my sister and I, to feel smarter than us I guess .

They don't really know me for who I am to be honest, because I learned that telling them things about myself lead to ridicule or anger. I once showed my dad a story I wrote as a kid and he only critiqued my grammar and said nothing else, and I also once told my mom about a fun video game I was playing, and she snapped and said I played too many video games.

Now, the only things they talk to me about are college and my future career. Visiting them is incredibly awkward, as we have nothing in common and they don't really care about me as much as my sister.

Anyway, I'm hoping to find help here. I've been a loner for a long time with few friends and it would be nice to have a place I could talk about this stuff!

Thanks!

[Hope67]

Hi BlueMoon,
Welcome 
Hope

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome BlueMoon     This is the place to talk about what you have gone and are going through with your family that's for sure.  We get it and are quite supportive which can really help when you've been a loner (lots of us are) and don't know what it feels like to be heard and understood. 

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I am glad you found us. We get it.