Parentification: Being responsible for Mother as ordained mission by God

[Linger@PNW]

Hello All,
I'm hoping to find support around my CPTSD which stems from mind-controlled extremist religiosity, stolen childhood/adolescence due to my parentification and the abuse and neglect that came with being told I was created for the purpose of making my handicapped mother's life bearable. Helplessly witnessing her physical and emotional pain while believing it was my role in life to make it all better for the first 20+ years of my life was a perpetually terrorizing experiences. Being alone in decisions about her life and death are still surprisingly haunting 36 years later. 

I've done a lot of work and still look for and find new resources that bring me greater safety and confidence in continuing my recovery.

I look forward to making connections of mutual support. 

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I am glad you found us. Your experience sounds terrible and I am not surprised you have CPTSD following that.

[Linger@PNW]

Thanks for the welcome - I'm glad to have found this space. 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS  That's way too much for anyone to deal with, not to mention a child, youth or young adult.  It's no wonder you have CPTSD and I hope being here helps you reduce all that still haunts you.

[Linger@PNW]

Everything's a little lighter when we feel seen and heard and you all are already doing that.  Thank you so much Kizzie!

[Desert Flower]

Hi Linger, another warm welcome to you here.
What you went through as a kid sounds like a toxic mix for sure. I'm not quite/not at all surprised it would still be bothering you. And I hope it will be bothering you less and less.
It's good to hear you've been working towards healing and I think you came to a good place for that, I've found it to be very supportive, I hope it will be to you too!
(apologies, my English seems to be messed up today.)

[Linger@PNW]

Thank you Desert Flower!