Neighbours abusing their baby

[Mathilde S]

My neighbours shout at their baby. A lot. They scream: SHUT UP! Or: SHUT YOUR * MOUTH! Or even once: BE QUIET OR I'LL BEAT YOU. Things like that. I never heard something that seems like beating. But it's worrying enough. They use some of the most horrible swearing words we have at a baby (e.g. a literal translation would be: shut your cancerous beak). I also heard the neighbour shout at his wife, things like: YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER NOW... or LET GO OF MY ARM YOU *. Before this they were very silent, never a problem.

I've talked to the neighbour, saying I hear they are struggling, and they need some help. He says they are frustrated from fatigue. But don't need help. I rarely see them, they never talk with me.

I called CPS several times. They tell me to speak with them myself. Which I already did. Or they simply do not even call back.

I spoke with social work in my area. They tell me to inform them. But do nothing.

Now what?

[NarcKiddo]

How horrible.

I am astonished CPS told you to speak to the neighbours yourself. That could have been dangerous if they are actually violent people, though from what you say it sounds as though they mainly shout.

If the neighbours shout often or at unsociable hours such as to be an actual noise nuisance then you could perhaps involve your local council environmental authority. Another government body getting involved might be able to put pressure on other departments, such as social services. Or if the shouting is such that you could reasonably fear violence is going on then calling the police is another option.

All that said, if the neighbours are "only" shouting then I suppose there is little you can do beyond what you have already done. Bless you for trying.

[Mathilde S]

Thanks. I'm conflicted. They do not seem physically violent (= police) or noisy to the extreme (= environmental authority). But rather repeating nasty words over and over. Thanks for the advice. If it ever escalates again, I will call the police directly. CPS is useless. 

It seemed to nearly escalate twice. Both times I called the emergency line of CPS. Once they said: talk to them. The other time they said: it's outside of opening hours, we will call you back. I'm still waiting. Next time I will call the police. Thanks.

Im far from the perfect parent. But me and kid look at each other helplessly when they fight.

My guess from what they scream at each other, is that she had a bad childhood. After the birth of the baby they were both overwhelmed. I don't think they have the intention to harm the girl. It sounds like overwhelm and lack of skills.

The extra trouble is that I don't trust our CPS one bit. They created total havoc in our lives. And never helped. They are known for either wrecking healthy families with mild problems, or refusing to interfere when there is severe abuse.

I'm thinking of writing a letter to the neighbours the next time there's yelling. I don't think there's bad intent. But rather a lack of awareness and skills.

Any ideas for what to put in it?

 

[Kizzie]

Yes, I think calling the police is the next thing to do if CPS won't help.  I'm astonished they don't or won't and telling you to talk to them is potentially dangerous.  So, yes, the police it is. Best you report but don't get involved beyond that IMO.

[Mathilde S]

Thanks. I thought about it. I have a lot on my plate as it. I will call the police if there's escalation. But I also will kindly inquire when I meet them on the streets. Even inquiring how they are, because I hear they are struggling, and I worry about all three of them, may point them to the fact there's help needed. In a friendly way. I'm the least to judge...I made a mess...but I do wish for them to get help.