Hope's Journal 2025

[Hope67]

Thanks so much SanMagic 

[Hope67]

22nd December 2025
It feels a bit frenzied out there - lots of people jostling to look for Christmas presents/food stuffs/whatever for Christmas.  I found some moments of peace and calm within all of that - especially when I ventured into the library, which is one of my favourite places to be - so calm and lovely there.  I chose some books to take home to enjoy.

I think I'll wait till after Christmas is over before I consider my usual goal to think of the various things that have happened over the year, and consider any realisations I've had regarding my progress in attempting to tackle the emotional fall-out of C-PTSD.  But as I consider that briefly in my mind just now, there are some thoughts coming to mind - so I'll jot them down:

I have been able to stay 'mindful' and use meditation to good effect this year - it has enabled me to feel a lot more centred and grounded in so many situations, and I am grateful for having stuck with it and practised it - so that I can use it on a daily basis. 

I feel more like an 'adult' more of the time than I have ever done in my life - and it's been ok - it's enabled me to parent the smaller parts of me who need me, and I am grateful that I've been able to find various books and tools and resources to enable me to try to do a reasonable job of it.

I've noticed that dreams in recent weeks have featured my past work situations, and that is unusual that they are focusing on that - but the good theme within it is that I am coping with the job situations and I'm amazed at how I've managed to cope - this reflects reality, as I do think back and wonder how I ever managed to do what was a complex and demanding kind of profession.  I don't think I would attempt it now!  I feel too scared at the responsibility of it all. 

I've managed to lose some weight during the second part of this year - but Christmas isn't helping me to continue - so I've decided to just enjoy some treats and festive bites, and not worry too much till January - then get back to trying to lose more weight.  I suspect this is true of many people this time of year - not a time for dieting over Christmas!

Wow, I've written far more than I thought I would, and I didn't even think I would be writing any conclusions from the year today - but I do seem to have put down a list, so I'll leave it there for now.

[sanmagic7]

it's quite a good list, too, hope.  well done on so many accomplishments this year.  keep up the good work and enjoy the holidays.  love and hugs

[NarcKiddo]

It is a good list. I'm glad you had a nice, tranquil time in the library and found some books to enjoy.

You're certainly right that Christmas is not very supportive of losing weight. Also, I think it can be good to take an occasional break. I think your plan to enjoy a few treats and not worry too much is a good one. I tend to find that attitude helps me check in and make sure I am actually enjoying the treat rather than eating for the sake of it. If my intentions are too "good" it's easy to berate myself for dipping into the chocolates too many times and then just finish the whole lot at one sitting, because I've "ruined" my plan. Much better to be kind and supportive to yourself over what can be a tough period for many reasons, not just weight loss.

 

[SenseOrgan]

Nice list! I definitively noticed your mindfulness in more than one post. It's a BIG deal. 

[Desert Flower]

That's all so great Hope, cheering for you! 

[Marcine]

Hi Hope,
I read through your journal and the resources you share are amazing! The one that caught my attention today is the bilateral music on YouTube. I'm going to try it. Thank you for putting it out here
Amazing growth and learning are evident in your journal entries.
I wish you a peaceful season