"Don't come back without them" (TW) ECA, PCA

[GoSlash27]

 I'm posting this for a member who feels like the emotional abuse he was subjected to is somehow less 'valid' than other forms of abuse.

 I was subjected to all manner of CA you can think of, and probably a few you hadn't considered. One of the worst examples I can recall clearly is this story. I didn't black it out, I dissociated it.

 I would have been about 10 years old, bedridden with walking pneumonia. I remember how miserable I was, I could barely sit up, and a trip to the bathroom would make me dizzy and see spots. I'd just lay there, trying to rest, coughing up a seemingly endless supply of grossness.

 My mother decided that I had been in bed long enough. She came in and demanded that I go to the store and get her a pack of cigarettes. Kids used be able to do that back then...

 I was incredulous. Mom, I can't. I'm too sick.
 We argued back and forth, and eventually she got the belt.
 She began beating me at the front door because I wasn't getting dressed fast enough.
 As I crawled out the front door, she said "Don't come back without them".

 So I left on my 4 block trek, stopping at each stoop along the way to catch my breath.
 
 A neighbor found me some time later 2 blocks away, unconscious in the snow on the sidewalk. She wanted to take me home, but I insisted I couldn't go home without her cigarettes. So she drove me to the store and back to her house.

 My mother played it off like she didn't realize how sick I was.

 It was in that moment that I determined that I would *never* be able to forgive her. Passing out in the snow from lack of oxygen is a near-death experience.

 Never believe for one second that emotional abuse is somehow 'less' than other forms.

Best,
-Slashy

[Kizzie]

I agree Slashy.  It is a theme that runs throughout this forum; that is, all relational trauma is damaging.  It used to be that emotional abuse wasn't considered traumatic but it's clear now that it is actually the core wound in all forms of relational abuse.

One way I explain this to new members is that if you are here and you have the 6 main symptoms of CPTSD then yes it was that bad. It took me a while to really believe I had been abused because I was not physically or sexually abused, but emotional abuse? Definitely! And here I am, 67 and still trying to recover from the covert N abuse I suffered.

So if anyone is wondering, just think about the symptoms you have, how you feel inside and it will become clear you belong here.

 

[GoSlash27]

Kizzie,
 Absolutely! 

 Speaking as someone who went through the wringer as a child, I can't even *begin* to catalogue all the different kinds of recurring relational trauma I experienced throughout my childhood. The trigger warnings *alone* would exceed the character limit of the title of such a thread, and that's not even counting all the new trigger warnings I'd have to invent! That's just for the events that I *haven't* repressed!
 Maybe I could use a "TW (everything)" tag, but then the resultant post would be so over-the-top disturbing it would probably get locked down as excessively upsetting. And rightfully so since it would be unnecessary to prove the point...

 You nailed it; it's *all* relational trauma and the emotional abuse is not any less- bad than any of the rest of it. 

Hope you're doing well,
-Slashy