My Story- Part 1 (trigger warning)

[Rizzo]

excuse my english, it's not first language.
i want to tell my story.. i'm sorry In advance if someone gets triggered.
I didn't live in the most safe home, it was especially difficult when I was little. My father was not an easy man. My mother let him abuse me. She was never there for me when I was little. Life at home was not always easy, but when I met X, I suddenly felt at home.
It all started when I was 13 years old.
I didn't know it was possible to find love like this, I felt like I was on top of the world, I was little but still it felt like it was epic love.
It all felt like a dream until I realized at a later age that it was all a lie.
We started dating and I felt like there was no one in the world who cared more about me.I was broken when he broke up with me he humiliated me in front of all my friends. he laughed at me when I cried.
But still I stayed. a few months after he would meet me in dark alleys and make me do things I didn't want. he would sexually abuse me. my teacher saw that I was fading away.
He was like a father to me he helped me when no one else he was able to get me to tell about what happened. He shouted at me that it was r*pe. I couldn't believe that x would hurt me so much.
Months passed and I continued to be sexually assaulted by x..
at the same time my father kicked me out of the house, he threw me away like I was some kind of a dog.
I decided I had to run away ,I moved to boarding school.. I changed my whole life.
In the boarding school I encountered a guy who did everything x did to me on a daily basis, I was r*ped every day without a break.
I was broken. They broke my spirit, broke my whole life into little pieces. I was alone with no one to help me.
In boarding school the teachers were terrible.
I had no one to talk to. My family found out about X.
My father told me that it was no wonder it happened to me.
I'm a slut and a whore, he said.
Years passed I continued to meet with them I was a wounded animal .I felt it was the best I could do.
A few years after that I was repeatedly r*ped by other people.
I couldn't stop them, I couldn't shout at them, I froze.
I was their puppet.
I kept a diary, that's the only thing that saved me.
that's it for today..
thank you for your time.
(There is a second part)

[Bermuda]

Hi Rizzo, welcome to the forum. It's okay that English isn't your first language, and don't worry, everything you wrote makes sense. Often the abuse we suffered as children unfortunately makes us more susceptible for further abuse. It's not your fault. Your reaction was completely normal and your father is wrong.

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome, Rizzo.

I am glad you have found us and I hope you find comfort here. I wish you well on your journey toward healing. You should not have had to endure those things. I am very sorry you did.

[Papa Coco]

Rizzo,

Welcome to the forum. My heart hurts when I read stories like yours. By reading your story I see you as a very brave and strong person. You are not what those abusive men said you were. You have survived a lot. I hope you find the care and compassion you seek here on this forum. There are many good people here to share your healing journey with.

[Larry]

welcome