Sage's Journal

[Armee]

That is really beautiful. So hard to let go when it's time, but so necessary too. Part of the love, as is the grief.

[CactusFlower]

So true, Armee, so true.  I know it sounds silly, but when the Marvel show Wandavision aired, at the end, Vision said, "What is grief, but love persevering?" I thought that was lovely too. I've put off putting away my laundry because his little kitty sweaters are in there.

Fortunately, I'm on a neighborhood Buy Nothing group in Facebook. I put up the remainder of his food and supplement gels, and they were claimed quickly, so they went to people who could use them. That helped.

[sanmagic7]

CF, i've been thru this in my own life, i get it.  i'm with you all the way.  it's a very difficult thing to do, but i love that quote and believe it's true. love persevering.  beautiful. sending love and a hug filled w/ whatever you need right now.

[Armee]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Cactus Flower

[Hope67]

Dear Sage,
I am sorry for your loss.  I think that the saying that you quoted was lovely - it reminded me of the unconditional love I once felt from a lovely animal that was in my life.  Precious memories and truely a powerful connection.

  to you in your loss.
Hope 

[CactusFlower]

Thank you, Hope, Armee, and San.

We get Varric's ashes back on Monday. We had a good long talk about not letting Pumpkin be alone too long and agreed that while no one can replace our sweet silly boy, we still have love to give and a place in our lives. Our requirements were no orange tabbies, an adult, and has to get along with other cats. Obviously.

We went to our County shelter yesterday afternoon  and it was crazy BUSY. Which was good.  We met the most adorable little girl cat. She's very affectionate and comes running for scratches and cuddles. She even sat in bro's lap at the shelter. (sucker, ha ha) That's exactly the personality we were hoping for. She's spayed, of course, but had previously had kittens and that's why her tummy's shaved at the moment. She is only 2 years old. She's having so much fun having all the room in the house to run and play and hide, and has found the catnip bananas and the birdies window.  She and Pumpkin have only had a few hisses and haven't bothered each other, so that's a good sign. So I'm happy to introduce Abyss, who will probably be nicknamed Abby. Such a cute, sweet, soft little girl!  At the moment, she's in Bro's lap, dozing off and kneading.  Check back soon, I'll message Kizzie to approve these intro pics.

[sanmagic7]

she looks adorable, CF.  so glad you found her.  love and hugs

[rainydiary]

I appreciate you sharing pictures of your cat.  I love cats and hope this one settles well into your home.

[Armee]

That's a good choice, to share the love you have. Welcome new kitty!

[CactusFlower]

Trigger warning for cremation discussion.
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We picked up his ashes today.  Ya'll.  This vet... I am so glad we chose them. We got Varric's ashes back. They're inside a navy blue satin bag, inside a handmade paper box with leaves and flowers embedded in the paper, which was inside a navy blue velvet bag. There is a Certificate of cremation and the envelope included a grief pamphlet. I didn't even know there was a national hotline for grief over a pet. They also did the "last paw print" in plaster and included a little stand for it. It's just perfect. Such beauty and care went into what they do. I'm so impressed, and it helps so much. It does feel kind of better in the house.

Abby is definitely a lap cat and has just attached herself to bro like a barnacle. It's super sweet. It's still a sad time, but her love helps.

Oh, a positive note! One of the people in my Saturday ACA meeting is a personal trainer, and she's working with me on some stretches that help sciatic pain until I can get to the Dr. at the end of July. I'm so grateful! It doesn't make it go away, but it does make it tolerable for several hours. So kind of her. I do hate taking painkillers that don't really work, and this means I'm not sitting on an icepack most of the day. So thank you, Higher Power, for her kind offer.

[sanmagic7]

i'll double that thank you to your higher power, CF, not only for the sciatica (it's such a pain, so to speak) but for the beautiful and personal way Varric was taken care of. 

so glad abby has made herself at home.  very cool!  love and hugs

[NarcKiddo]

Glad to hear you are getting some help with the sciatica.

Thank you for sharing the pics of Abby. She looks so cute and I am glad she is settling in happily. I was surprised and pleased by how nicely everybody dealt with us and the pugs when they had to go on ahead. I am glad your experience with this aspect was as positive as such a thing can be.

[Kizzie]

That's great you're getting a bit of help with the sciatica, it is miserable I know.

So sorry to hear about Varric    The vet sure seemed to handle the whole thing well which helps make it a more positive memory.   

[Not Alone]

I'm sorry to hear about Varric. I've been there and I know it is so sad. Congratulations on your new kitty. She's adorable.

[CactusFlower]

Just been dealing lately. Sadness over Varric, still. Abby hasn't been thrilled with Pumpkin, but they'll get there. Sheesh, can Abby scream! She also got into a bag of cat food overnight that we didn't put in the bin right away. Clearly a former street cat. She's still sweet, though.  But yeah, just been quite down. I also got another disability denial, so now we've formally requested the hearing. I opted to allow a video meeting. There's hope there, as they apparently can get scheduled a little faster than in-person meetings, but it still might take almost another year. I really hate this process. It's also been 10 years since Mom passed. Where does the time go?  My psych doc added Prozac to the mix this month, but we're going to just continue at the same dose for now since it was hard to see any improvement with all the cruddy things.

I'm here and ok so far, just haven't been as talkative. group hug!