Just feeling lost and alone

[sam145]

I'm posting here again because that's what's been recommended to me. It feels pointless though. I know what I need is an actual support system, but I don't even know where to start. I wish therapy wasn't a trigger for me. It just sucks to get triggered all the time over dumb things like people making jokes that boil down to "(Character/person) needs therapy" and then spiral into a depressive state where it feels like I'm just never going to get better.

[saylor]

I'm sorry, sam
I wish I knew how to make you feel better
I usually feel lost, too

[sanmagic7]

it totally sucks, sam.  sorry you're feeling lost.  i'm glad you posted here, tho.  this place has been helpful getting me thru some very rough times, and i hope you can find some of that here as well.  we do care about you here.   sending love and hugs filled with caring and compassion.

[woodsgnome]

I share many of the hopeless feelings you're expressing. This way of being ourselves may seem impersonal sometimes, but being able to express those kinds of things on a forum like this is pretty rare, even if it seems out of sorts and distant.

My own sentiment upon finding this site was full of 'but how can this ever fulfill what I need?' sentiments. It's still like that, with the difference that I have found this to be a safe way of sharing and of caring about those with similar trips through this awkward and hurting place called life.

I still fall into states where I wonder what I'm doing here -- but I also wonder that about most of my extremely limited social world. Even in spite of having had some very social sorts of vocations, the pressures of being around people have always found me in retreat from them. At least here, I'm not totally alone in that. This probably doesn't make sense except to those on here who know exactly what I'm driving at.

I hope you can find some equilibrium and peace despite the steep road this sort of life presents us with.