I want a family

[Rovivrus]

I can get, like anyone, all the support available on the Internet.
But, that's one single thing, text and the idea of the persons and value behind every single post.

As I'm homeless and I can't find any more places to handle flashback I recently have got even more close to nature than I used to.
The placed where I used to stop for quick toilet has a nice tree when now I stay on and think and handle flashbacks.
It is basically my first time on a tree and instic brought me there.
It is not amazingly comfortable but the level of protection that tree offer me is something I can't describe.

So I was thinking I've sad and joyful moments in life. Yet, even I've the joyful ones, it is boring, nonsense.

At some point I see a squirrel, it is above me. I also see several birds.
The squirrel get so close to my face, I see him at some inches. We both look into the eyes and then he goes away after some minutes.

I've seen a squirrel for my first time some months ago, just to be clear.

The feeling I had when I saw that squirrel was like a family. He kind of accepted me, that's what I've got as a feeling.

It was like I was a part of a family for a seconds. It wasn't text or ideas. It was living beings.

I never had that. Not a family, neither living beings accepting me.

That's what I want. Of course, everyone would understand is not something that will be fixed any time soon, and it brings a * of a lot of pain.

I had a cry and then managed the flashback. People passed by and didn't notice me, thankfully.

Experience taught me it doesn't matter how cool or clever or firm or strong or sad or whatever I may look, I've never been part of any family, and never had that feeling I had when the squirrel looked at me.

I wrote this from my phone. Battery was dying too. Forgive me for typos and the quality of the post. I wanted to post this.

[johnram]

your story touched me, i struggle with the idea of family and my care

i look to animals with a longing also

i am glad you had that moment, for whatever it gave you, it was powerful

i hope you can keep coming on this forum, and i truly wish you well

[saturnine]

I want a family too, so much....that we share.

I also find a lot of comfort in nature and animals. My cat is one of the first creatures I felt a safe and loving connection with.

May things get better for you soon.