Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation: A Practical, Integrative Approach' - TW

[Hope67]

I've bought the book: "Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation: A Practical, Integrative Approach" by Kathy Steele, Suzette Boon and Onno Van Der Hart - it is the 2017 edition.

I hope to write a few notes from the book as I read it - I would invite anyone who wants to contribute their own comments etc to do so.

My thoughts about the book are - it is a really well put-together book - the titles of the chapters are really relevant, and I have read Chapter 1 - and found it very helpful so far.

Chapter 1: Dissociation as Non-Realisation

I relate to p.6 "Though patients may talk as if they have insight and have integrated trauma, often this superficial and unemotional narrative is an avoidance accompanied by dissociation and depersonalization"

I really relate to this - I think I feel emotionless many times, but there are 'waves of emotion' for me within instances - there are delays in my processing - I think I do avoid - I barely process some things, and maybe over-focus on other things. 

p.7 "Each dissociative part of the patient's personality encompasses a unique perception of reality that can contradict the reality of other parts, with an amazing attitude of indifference toward profound inconsistencies"
This also makes sense to me.
The conclusion from p.8 that "the division of self is a solution to unbearable and irreconcilable realities' - that also makes sense.

Something that has meaning is on p.11 where it says "AS these young parts, the patient avoids the realization that sh eis now grown-up and must grieve what she did not receive in childhood."

p.13
"Some have a hyper-activated care-giving system, which is commonly referred to as codependence" - I didn't think of this possible definition of codependence, but I think I have this - it relates to my experience for definite. 

I also really related to the description of Helen on p.17 where it says about Helen "Helen, a child who was smart and competent in school and functioned in daily life, but who avoided thinking or knowing about the abuse.  Later, Helen only has the most fragmentary recall of childhood."  I feel like that describes me for a large part of my life - it was like my memories colluded to block out the bad parts - trivialised them, minimised them, fragmented them.  The book goes into details about the different parts of Helen, and I relate to the descriptions there.  I won't repeat them as I think it's potentially too triggering to do so, but I really relate to all that is said there.


(I wasn't sure whether to start my notes about this book here or not - I know there was a group of people who had worked through an older edition of this book, and I was trying to find that section, and couldn't find it - so I have started here - but maybe it's ok for me to write here?  I don't want to do the wrong thing, I feel a bit unsure whether it's ok to do this note-taking in this way, but I do find it helpful, and I re-read it - plus any comments people make.  Anyway, I think I'll stop for now - so far I have read Chapter 1 in its entirety - and written these notes up to p.19 - so I hope to continue.

But I'll take a break now.

Hope 

[Hope67]

I had started to go through this book, starting with Chapter 1 - and make some notes here, but I want to update and say that I've found it too difficult to share my notes in this part - because I've ended up reading further and now I'm on p.174, which is actually Chapter 8 - and whilst there have been many insights that I've gained from reading the chapters, I am finding it's very hard to process everything - and so I've cut myself some slack and decided to just write as and when I can and want to - rather than trying to be more 'structured' - I think sometimes I end up feeling like I'm doing some sort of homework - not sure why - it just seems to happen.
Also, the fact is, I think I go 'too fast' - reading different books, but it's like I'm keen to learn and keen to finally be able to work out things in my life - because it's like the key is there and I can finally unlock some doors.  So I feel like I need to chase and identify triggers, and explore, and recognise the parts that are reluctant for me to do that, and the parts that are keen for me to attach and do things. 
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'll hope to pop back and write some things about this book here - but probably not in the structured way I'd tried to do with other books.  I don't like to start something and then not see it through, and I'm not giving up on it, I'm just allowing myself to process things at the pace I need and looking out for my needs - which is a good thing.  (Internally I felt like I was getting some kind of rapid heart-rate-  which is weird, that hasn't happened before) - just noting that, as it was like an inner part of me was anxious about this. 

Hope 

[woodsgnome]

Sometimes we do, as you point out, let our eagerness to share insights we come across too quickly, often before or while we're digesting the material. Then, as you say, it becomes like homework.

I do enjoy your insights with your reads, and I also recognize that desire to get the word out, to hit all the salient points that lit up the sky, so to speak. I also tend to rush my reading in this way. It's almost like I'm so eager to reach the essential (and perfect!) statement that's going to fix my problem and I'll live happily ever after.

So I find myself needing to slow down, absorb better, and just follow what's being said (or not said in some instances). Plus, if it's germane to where we feel we need to get, there's almost a hidden back of the mind panic that sets in, a perfectionist slant I guess. I call this the I-just-have-to-get-this-right syndrome, followed by the someday-I'll-get-this-perfect one.

Then again, learning was always my passion, followed by sharing, but balanced by just being. I sense this might be how it works for you too. It's not so much a fault  as a means by which we try to make sense of this craziness. It's just that occasionally the balance gets confusing. Still knowledge is a great thing, so keep it up 

[Boy22]

Hey Hope67

I purchased this book a couple of months ago, read it within days. Thought "I can do this".

And then discovered it was harder than I though. Haven't picked it back up again for a while, re-doing parts of Pete Walkers book.

[Wattlebird]

I recently bought this book as well, I've read chpts 1 & 2 , if it's ok I can talk thru things as well while going thru it

[Hope67]

Hi Woodsgnome - I found it very helpful to read about how you also find that you might rush your reading in a similar way to how I have done - and acknowledging the need to slow down, absorb better etc - I also recognise a perfectionist streak in me - and in parts of me - and like you - I also feel that 'learning' is a passion - I love knowledge and learning, and my life has been centred around that from the start - I totally appreciate your thumb's up, and your encouragement, and I appreciate your support  - thankyou so much 

Hi  Boy22 - It is a massive book with so much information, and it's also more complicated than I envisaged - and I appreciate you saying how you felt it was harder than you thought - I am on Chapter 8 now - and I will be no doubt re-reading it when I get to the end, and also dipping into the other books I have - I've read Pete Walker's books a couple of times - and I will also go back to them - I find I get more out of a book on a second or even third reading, but it's probably because different parts of me absorb different bits, or maybe I don't even absorb the same bits each time - but what I have noticed is that I am absorbing something - and I feel things are going in a 'direction' - that feels good.  Boy22 - I hope the same for you, and I hope that we'll be able to say 'We can do this' in terms of making some progress with things.

Hi Wattlebird - I knew that someone else had purchased this book recently, and somehow I couldn't recall who it was, but I think it was probably you - as I think you have mentioned it some other time - and I am so glad that you are reading it, and I hope you and anyone who is reading it will feel free to write in this thread, or in another one, if you prefer, but I would welcome the chance to talk through things in this thread - about this book - and anything related to that - that's for sure!  Somewhere in the forum, there is a whole set of people who read the previous edition of the same book, and they had gone through it and discussed it - and I also hope to find that and read through what they said, as I think it would be really helpful.

I feel so happy that this forum is here and we can talk about things - and share experiences of books and articles and anything else here - it's really positive.

Hope 

[Wattlebird]

Thanks hope the previous discussion on this book is archived kizzie gave it to me
Here's the link
http://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=195.0 
Enjoy

[Wattlebird]

I read chpt 3 it talks of recognising parts of your self - I strongly related to the parts described except the inner helper helping parts get along, I was going to work on recognising young parts but there is so much inner resistance that I may just read on for now not push, I'm intrigued by this concept of self I relate and understand it intuitively, thank goodness

[Boy22]

Hi Wattlebird

I thought I was doing great at getting all my parts together is a safe place until I realised my inner child sat mute thinking, "nup, you're and adult and I don't trust adults, besides you've been around when they've hurt me before and did nothing so why should anything change now?"

Harsh huh?

[Wattlebird]

Yes boy22
Harsh is right, I was a little too confident in my expectations, thought my parts would be happy to cooperate haha
It's really where the work in this book is going to help me recognise these important parts of myself and validate them though and recognising this is the first step in bringing it all together
Hope your doing well in this 

[woodsgnome]

Boy 22 said via the inner child's voice:

"nup, you're and adult and I don't trust adults, besides you've been around when they've hurt me before and did nothing so why should anything change now?"

I just wanted to quickly share how familiar that quote sounded, as it was precisely the same reaction I received when I first (very skeptically) started visiting my inner child's domain.

Encouraged by reading other accounts, I later broke through, and finally succeeded. I wrote this out in story form. Long story short, adult me was going to leave inner child yet again, but relented and just took him with me, right past the abusers (my FOO) in their own house, out the door and good riddance.

Back to the skepticism--it helped to suspend disbelief and just be creative; it's what we have imaginations for. In the end, rescuing the kid was also a meaningful way of feeling that I'd finally beat them at their own game, and that they never knew what happened

Take care, persevere, and who knows what might happen. Sometimes "it's only a story" can provide the ticket past always feeling trapped inside.

[Hope67]

I was going to work on recognising young parts but there is so much inner resistance that I may just read on for now not push, I'm intrigued by this concept of self I relate and understand it intuitively, thank goodness

Hi Wattlebird - thank you for including the link above to the archived past discussions of this book - I am hoping to read through those once I've got a bit further in the book - and like you - I'm 'reading on for now' and 'not push'ing - as I think my style with reading a book is to read it to the end, and then try to re-read and process - it's almost like I want to ensure that I'm not going to get anything unexpected - and I think it's also because it's a tough thing to process and read. 

I really appreciate the fact we can all share our thoughts and experiences and reflections on things we've read - it means a lot to know we're not alone with these things.

Hope 

[Hope67]

Harsh huh?

Hi Boy22 - I think that is 'harsh' and I'm glad you're here - and I really think that what Woodsgnome said - it makes sense - and I'm encouraged by what Woodsgnome also said about being able to break through and succeed finally - let's hope we can all do that - and get to where we want to be.

Hope 

[Hope67]

Take care, persevere, and who knows what might happen. Sometimes "it's only a story" can provide the ticket past always feeling trapped inside.

Hi Woodsgnome, I am encouraged by your words here - very much so. 
Hope 

[Boy22]

Harsh huh?

Hi Boy22 - I think that is 'harsh' and I'm glad you're here - and I really think that what Woodsgnome said - it makes sense - and I'm encouraged by what Woodsgnome also said about being able to break through and succeed finally - let's hope we can all do that - and get to where we want to be.

Hope 

I too liked and appreciated  Woodsgome's words.

He, you, the whole community make this place wonderful.