What part is this? Feeling like my normal self...shame not fixed though...

[Sienna]

Don't know if i should post...but oh well, I'm gonna...

After an intense period of feeling shame and feeling hopeless about life,
has anyone else experienced an upsurge in energy?
Dramatically so?
Parts that carry shame-
This part came out- the part who agreed with my parents - (that I'm worthless), so now i think the whole world thinks of me in the way that she did. (my mother)
That is the part who doesnt care that I'm so bad. Dissociation perhaps helped - well, that is a dissociative part
Now i feel I'm above that part. Feel light. High. Not enthused about life, but feeling better *in myself*
Eating a bit more at volunteering when i can has boosted my mood...
but i think its another part that has come out and taken over so that i don't feel the crushing pain of shame anymore and not wanting to go on.
Shame carries anger with it. Anger directed at the self - if not projected onto others.
Wondering if feeling so different, energetic, is pent up anger that i didnt express?

And after a T session in which i felt..kind of...abandoned by her- not her fault- i do think its all in my head...I shut my feelings off.
Could be the survival part that feels noting but running away and adrenaline- ie. usually when narcs *do me over* and a relationship breaks down.
but i wasnt running. I just froze, and a self destructive part came out- which i think protected me from feeling shame. After my *blow out*, i felt no shame.

Just curious. Can anyone tell me what they thin this part is?
I just feel so *drastically* different.
I know that the opposite of feeling shame can be narcissism, and that narcissism can come out in some parts / a part.

Thanks...

[Dee]

I don't know what it is, but I am super glad to hear that you are eating better and volunteering!!

[Sienna]

Aw, thanks Dee! I always volunteered, just, making use of their kitchen to eat hot meals now the shame has decreased some.
I hope your doing ok...