Something I Want Others to Know About CPTSD is ...

[Kizzie]

Absolutely Pisces, it's not something you can just do otherwise you would have done it long ago. I mean who wants to live with intrusive thoughts? It's ridiculous and no therapist with any solid training would suggest that. 

What we all need are tools and strategies that have been proven to work. If you Google  something like "managing intrusive thoughts" there's quite a bit written about this.  And of course if you're with a therapist it's something they can help you with if they're trained to deal with Complex Trauma and CPTSD.   

[Blueberry]

That when I say I 'can't' make the negative thoughts stop...that I literally can't. Its not a matter of willpower and just trying harder. My brain is programmed in a faulty way due to abuse from the entirety of my childhood and longer. You might as well tell a someone who's blind that if they just tried harder then they could see. All I do all day is try harder, hence the exhaustion.

Absolutely Pisces! I'm sorry people around you don't understand that, tho unfortunately I'm not surprised either, having had to hear and sense similar for years.

Welcome to the forum by the way.

[Matilda2]

What I most want them to understand, is that trauma doesn't come out in neat and orderly stories. But incoherent and chaotic. That this doesn't disprove my story. But exactly proves it.

[Chart]

That when I say I 'can't' make the negative thoughts stop...that I literally can't. Its not a matter of willpower and just trying harder. My brain is programmed in a faulty way due to abuse from the entirety of my childhood and longer. You might as well tell a someone who's blind that if they just tried harder then they could see. All I do all day is try harder, hence the exhaustion.

[Marcine]

This discussion thread is an amazing discourse— validating and truth-telling.
I'll add that I wish more people understood that CPTSD creates a seemingly paradoxical framework where the human natural state of relaxation/safety/connection feels deeply challenging and even possibly unattainable.

[EB]

What I want others to understand is that even when I'm being your hero, your caretaker or brilliant in any way on the outside - on the inside I might be a complete disaster.
That everything feels like it's a hundred times harder for me than for people without c-ptsd.
And that stress and triggers throw me off in a way that I don't think most people without c-ptsd experience or understand.

[GoSlash27]

All,
 My brother's widow is dying. She's a retired therapist and she took the "common sense" approach and tried to put her past in a box, run from it, and not think about it anymore. That approach doesn't work forever.
 What *I* want everyone to know is that cPTSD is curable. No longer something you must merely "learn to live with" or adapt to. It can be fully cured.
 I chose Deep Brain Reorienting as my treatment option and the effect it's had on me is profound. 

[Kizzie]

Something new in my life beginning about 6 months ago is the feeling that "I am not my trauma".  For so many years now I have immersed myself in the forum, in books and articles, and in writing about trauma such that trauma was my identity. That has waned quite a bit. I am not having EFs as frequently or as intensely and I find have room for other things, more of a normal day-to-day existence if you will. I'm still quite active in advocacy about trauma, but it's about complex relational trauma and CPTSD in general and giving back rather than being immersed as much in my own trauma.

So what I would want others to know is that while it may seem like an endless journey and like the dark days will never pass, in the end it is worth the work of recovery.

[Alexandra]

Hello ; I have read this tread, and wanted to add, society has concepts of family, and mothers in particular  , C-PTSD, violates the social contract, our mother is the primary caregiver, we are born totally dependent , on her care ,  I have found that people feel very threatened , by negative concepts of mother , since C-PTSD, is a violation, of the social contract, in my view it would take a hands on supportive caring community, to facilitate recovery, this idea is being applied to wounded members of the military, " the wounded warrior project " is an example, I feel that if there was a place of peace, compassion, and support where we could go, this would be most helpful, unfortunately , society , prefers to sweep C-PTSD ,under the rug .

[Alexandra]

Hello ; There are two forms of therapy which are likely to be helpful, with C-PTSD, therapeutic horse back riding, I would try this myself, however there is not a  program available in my area,you interact with an animal,, a horse ,so non treating and the riding, is relaxing , also an emotional support animal, there are waiting lists for these . Any way a few thoughts

[Kizzie]

Animals are definitely something that helped me. I owned a horse many years ago and loved the smell and feel of her as we went out for walks in the woods near the stable. Sadly I was allergic and it got worse so I had to give her up. I got a hypoallergenic dog after that and he was the best.

Service dogs here (Canada) are quite expensive unless you can get sponsored which I imagine is also the case elsewhere and you'd likely have to jump through a lot of hoops to get one. Emotional support dogs are likely much less because they don't require the extensive training. Really though unless you have special needs you could just get a dog or cat or any domesticated animal that isn't an official support animal to "feel the love" and bond. That's what's missing for so many of us.