Gisèle Pelicot - A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides

[SenseOrgan]

TW/mention of sexual abuse

The extraordinarily powerful memoir by a heroine of our times, whose story inspires change, compassion and courage.

One November day, Gisèle Pelicot was called to a local police station and life as she knew it ended. Her husband of fifty years had been caught by a supermarket guard filming up women's skirts. But on his computer was shattering evidence: for nearly a decade, he had been secretly drugging and raping her and inviting dozens of strangers into their home to abuse her.

Four years later, he and fifty other men were put on trial and Gisèle's courage in waiving her right to anonymity made global headlines. 'Shame must change sides,' she declared, giving voice and hope to millions. Her words became a rallying cry and her decision marked a turning point in public feeling about sexual violence.

For the first time, and with unwavering honesty and grace, she describes a difficult childhood, first love, her career and motherhood. It is a life in determined search of happiness, both before and after her devastating discovery. She is an ordinary person who faces extraordinary catastrophe, whose example changes the world.

A Hymn to Life is an unforgettable testament and a promise. Its message is one of defiance and renewal – that victims have no reason to feel ashamed; that even after unimaginable betrayal we can go on; that the colour can come back to life. Ultimately, Gisèle Pelicot emerges with a renewed passion and reverence for living, and for love.
Source: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/475698/a-hymn-to-life-by-pelicot-gisele/9781847928962

[Kizzie]

"Shame must change sides". Absolutely!

Have you read the book yet SO? I remember when her story first came out I was amazed she had chosen to disclose publicly and say "No!" to shame. So courageous because although she did not own the shame (as we do not), I know there were those who questioned how she could not have known even having been drugged.

If you've read the book I'm curious to know if she talks about having CPTSD given she was drugged and unconscious when the abuse occurred. It must have been psychologically shattering to discover the years of abuse no matter what, but it's different in a way than being aware of our abuse even if we dissociate because the memories are there if deep down. Part of us knows whereas for her, there are no memories.   

[NarcKiddo]

I have been totally astonished by Mme Pelicot's courage and dignity in all of this. I believe the whole situation has caused a family rift between her and her daughter, which is very sad. Plus the upset for the families of the participants in this vile abuse. I feel I ought to try to read her book at some stage.

[SenseOrgan]

Kizzie, I haven't read the book yet. I just discovered she wrote it, watching an interview on Dutch TV. She'll receive the Four Freedoms Award in April. I'm in absolute awe of her. I can never see her on TV without crying. That's not even so much about the atrocities themselves, but more about how she carries herself. Her courage and dignity deeply resonate with me. She's a big inspiration. "Shame must change sides". You said something very similar in a comment on Bredrick's book. That message has been sinking in lately. For me, it's a very important one to really hear and start to live by. It helps to have examples of people who went before me, who are truly on their own side.

Reading the book is going to be challenging, I think. There were fragments in the item on TV. She's very open about what she went through, also during the trial. I have no idea if Gisèle Pelicot views what she's going through in the light of PTSD, or even CPTSD. Thus far I haven't heard her speak about it in those terms. If it's in the book, I'll report it here. What she did mention in the interview is that it helped her that she's older. She said she didn't know if she would have been able to carry this when younger. The interview is in French with Dutch subtitles. If you speak French and use VPN, I can look up the link for you if you'd want.

NarcKiddo
That's incredibly sad. I just learned that it was actually Pelicot's daughter who encouraged her mother to not give the perpetrators what they want by holding the trial behind closed doors.

[Blueberry]

Gisèle Pelicot is and was so brave! I'm so sorry that the trial and how it went down exactly has caused a rift between her and her daughter. Abuse of whatever kind can cause such rifts. At least as far as I understand the whole family is united against the husband/father.

I read this quote elsewhere, purportedly from the Toronto Sun but I haven't checked:      TW for SA wording

'She admits that if she had been 20 years younger, she might not have had the strength to do it.

"I might not have dared to refuse a closed-door hearing," she writes. "I would have feared the stares. Those damned stares a woman of my generation has always had to contend with, those damned stares that make you hesitate in the morning between trousers and a dress, that follow you or ignore you, flatter you and embarrass you. Those damned stares that are supposed to tell you who you are, what you're worth, and then abandon you as you grow older."'

End TW

[dollyvee]

The sad thing is is that there is also a city councillor in the UK that has also been accused of doing this.

I admit I have been on somewhat of a doom spiral trying to process all the information coming out of the Epstein files recently, and I also agree that the shame has to change sides. So brave of her for doing this.

[Kizzie]

SO, I don't speak French but tks for being willing to look up the link. 

It is rather depressing to hear of so much predatory sexual abuse/trafficking in the news at the moment. At the same time, I think (hope) this is a wake up call about what is happening behind a LOT of closed doors.

I see so many resigning/ being fired in the fallout from the Epstein files and it gives me hope that we can hold abusers accountable, even if they are rich and powerful. I must admit I cheered when King Charles stripped his brother Andrew of his titles and royal goodies. It sends a very powerful message worldwide and we need that, to know that powerful people will be outed and punished. I know Trump hasn't been but I think (hope) that it's a matter of when not if.  Fingers crossed!

[Blueberry]

The sad thing is is that there is also a city councillor in the UK that has also been accused of doing this.

I wonder how much Gisèle's case is just the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. Not just in France but in other countries too.

[SenseOrgan]

Today Gisèle Pelicot will receive the Freedom from Fear Award, as part of the Four Freedoms Awards from the Roosevelt Foundation. What a hero she is!
https://www.fourfreedoms.nl/en/laureaten/gisele-pelicot

The ceremony can be viewed here:

Some Background
On 16 April 2026, international freedom fighters will receive a Four Freedoms Award in recognition of their commitment to safeguarding freedom and defending human rights. The Awards are presented annually to individuals and organisations dedicated to the four freedoms proclaimed by President Roosevelt in 1941. Each laureate is paired with a presenter who feels a connection to the work of that freedom fighter. This year, these are Prime Minister Rob Jetten, Pjotr Sauer, Lucille Werner and Olcay Gulsen. The laureate of Freedom of Worship will remain anonymous for safety reasons. The Director of Amnesty International Netherlands, Dagmar Oudshoorn, will act as an expert during the ceremony. Traditionally, the Prime Minister presents the International Four Freedoms Award.
 
 
The International Four Freedoms Award is being awarded to President Volodymyr Zelensky and the Ukrainian people. Prime Minister Rob Jetten will deliver a speech during the ceremony to express his support and "in recognition of their courageous struggle to protect freedom and democracy under exceptionally difficult circumstances."
Freedom of Speech

Pjotr Sauer presents the Freedom of Speech Award to the non-profit organisation Committee to Protect Journalists. Journalist Pjotr Sauer grew up in Russia, where for a long time he was able to simply do his job as a journalist. Pjotr has experienced first-hand, like no other, how fragile press freedom is and what it is like as a journalist not to be free to do one's work safely. Until the war broke out and he was suddenly seen as the enemy. He was forced to leave Russia due to the security risks and censorship associated with the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Pjotr is the son of Derk Sauer, who presented the Freedom of Speech Award to the investigative collective Bellingcat in 2024. Pjotr is now travelling through Eastern Europe to document Russia's actions on the world stage and is a correspondent for The Guardian.
Freedom of Worship: laureate remains anonymous

The Roosevelt Foundation is unable to disclose the identity of the laureate for the Four Freedoms Award for Freedom of Worship. Anonymity is necessary and may even be vital to the laureate's personal safety. In various parts of the world, people are in grave danger because of their religious beliefs. For many, revealing their identity could lead to discrimination, persecution or even lethal violence. Although the award cannot therefore be presented in person, it remains awarded to this laureate. This is a situation unprecedented in the history of the Roosevelt Foundation.

Dagmar Oudshoorn, director of former laureate Amnesty International Netherlands, will draw on her expertise during the ceremony to explain human rights violations worldwide and the restrictions on freedom of religion. For over sixty years, Amnesty International has been committed to a just world in which people have equal rights and can live in freedom.
Freedom from Want

Lucille Werner presents the Award for Freedom of Want to Isidora Uribe Silva, who is committed to creating an inclusive society. Lucille Werner has spent her entire career fighting for the rights of people with disabilities, just like Isidora. Among other things, Lucille organised a tour of disabled musicians, a singing competition for young people with disabilities, a beauty pageant, and also wrote the book "Het leven loopt op rolletjes". She has also set up a foundation and a website. Through these initiatives, she hopes to create a more positive image of people with disabilities and a more accessible labour market. Lucille Werner is a true champion of inclusion.
Freedom from Fear

Olcay Gulsen presents the Freedom from Fear award to Gisèle Pelicot, an international figurehead for victims of sexual violence. Entrepreneur and activist Olcay Gulsen has been committed for many years to eradicating violence against women and girls worldwide. By sharing her personal story, including in the documentary series 'Olcay & Domestic Violence', she is making domestic violence a topic of open discussion. In addition, she has been campaigning against femicide for years and has been the national ambassador for the 'Orange the World' campaign since 2020. Olcay has been emphasising for years that violence against women is not a private matter, but an urgent social issue that requires robust legislation and regulations.
Youth for Freedom Award

It was previously announced that Deel de Duif will receive the very first Youth for Freedom Award. Natascha van Weezel will present this award to the young founders of Deel de Duif, who are committed to strengthening dialogue, connection and solidarity. As an author and documentary maker, van Weezel is known for her search for nuance in times of polarisation, fuelled by her family history and her commitment to issues surrounding minorities and freedom. In her work, such as the documentary 'Brug over de breuklijn' and the book 'Hoe houd je je hart zacht', she emphasises how important it is to continue to see one another as human beings and to listen to one another more closely. She advocates for nuance, mutual understanding and connection. Van Weezel knows the initiators of Deel de Duif through their role in the documentary and is a great supporter of their work.
About the Four Freedoms Awards

For over forty years, the Four Freedoms Awards have been presented to men, women and organisations whose commitment and achievements have demonstrated a profound dedication to the ideals of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The awards are held in Middelburg in even-numbered years and in New York in odd-numbered years. In 1941, President Roosevelt proclaimed in his historic Four Freedoms speech that everyone, everywhere in the world, has a right to four fundamental human rights: freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want and freedom from fear.

The Four Freedoms Awards ceremony will take place on Thursday 16 April 2026 at the Abbey in Middelburg. The ceremony is by invitation only; it can be watched live at www.fourfreedoms.nl
source: https://www.fourfreedoms.nl/en/nieuws/presenters-four-freedoms-awards-ceremony-announced

[TheBigBlue]

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Thank you for sharing this SO!

[Blueberry]

 

[Blueberry]

I have been totally astonished by Mme Pelicot's courage and dignity in all of this. I believe the whole situation has caused a family rift between her and her daughter, which is very sad. Plus the upset for the families of the participants in this vile abuse. I feel I ought to try to read her book at some stage.

I read somewhere reputable but can't remember where that Gisèle Pelicot and her daughter have repaired their rift.

In the same newspaper or mag article, some women were lamenting that people in the position that GP and her daughter found themselves in are expected to have their feelings under control and everything perfect, whereas they were both going through a hugely stressful time, undoubtedly unprecedented in both their lives, and it takes a while to find your way. I don't remember if they mentioned similar situations, but apparently quite a number of parents separate and divorce when one of their children is either significantly disabled, disappears without trace or is murdered. Of course there are some who weather through all that and stay together, but not all.

As I think most of us on here know, it takes time to work through feelings. GP and her daughter probably managed that fairly quickly considering.

[NarcKiddo]

That's good to know. Thanks BB