I'm feeling so lonely

[geckoskittlezx7900338]

Since I was 13 I developed an intense fascination (obsession pretty much) with personality typology, but at the same time my self-esteem is massively (if not entirely) dependent on the result, I know that human personality/behaviour/cognition is too complicated to be limited to just 16 types or just 9 types but it still matters to me a lot, how others perceive me is very important to my self-esteem (to the point of intense distress to the point of being unable to do anything because of an undesirable result) yet at the same time I feel so uncomfortable and ashamed of it, I used Personality Database for the first time in ages just because I am very lonely and I want someone that actually shares my interests and actually understands me but I feel overwhelmed, it's the anticipation, combined with the fact when I also checked my discord at around the same time someone said something about me that really hurt my feelings.

It is so * complicated I am insecure about my personality insecure about my intelligence insecure about my physical appearance insecure about everything.

I am a 19 year old unemployed autistic transgender male with crippling addictions to internet and weed.

My childhood was very complicated.

I'm a very introspective person and I'm fascinated by psychology stuff in general (well I claim to be like that but I waste time trauma dumping about how much I hate myself on the internet way more instead as much as I wouldn't want to admit it).

I feel as though more and more people more and more frequently both IRL and on the net perceive me as the complete opposite of how I'd like to be, the older I get the lower my self-esteem is.

[SenseOrgan]

Welcome here geckoskittlezx7900338!

[Skyward]

I really hope that this is a place where you can learn how to accept and love your uniqueness as a person.